Things Don't Always Turn Out That Way
by StalkerDex
Summary: 2D finds himself in a new relationship when Murdoc returns out of the blue...much drama insues. Murdoc/2D. First few chapters are slow, but it IS Murdoc/2D I promise! :D
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Hello guys! Just wanted to let you know, this story will be premised in the time between "Demon Days" and "Plastic Beach" since, to be honest, I have no clue what's going on with The Gorillaz these days. Thanks for reading! Also...there is two sex scenes so be warned in this chapter...if you don't like sex, don't read! :P**

The coffee shop was rather busy, much to the blue haired singer's distaste. He had come to relax, yet, as he let his blank, soulless eyes wander about the store he found it all to be very unsettling.

At the counter there was a young, bubbly blonde chirping away as was probably required of her by her superiors. She was pressing away at the buttons on the register, her long pony tail whipping around incessantly as she struggled to keep up with her fat, sloppy customer's order. The customer, of course, was barking at her as she ignored her obnoxious, troll-like children. The barista was rubbing her hands on her green apron occasionally, which he had assumed was some sort of tick she had to help her cope with the difficult task of working with the public. She was charming, to say the least.

Behind this, a line of seven or eight customers was waiting eagerly for their coffee. If there was anything that made people frustrated, not having their morning coffee fast enough had to be number one on the list. The loud ambience of chatter filled up the room, causing the singer's rather constant headache to flare up. He pressed his long fingers to his temple and closed his eyes, struggling to shut out all of the chaos; this was not the environment he had hoped for.

He let out a sigh before getting out of the small, uncomfortable green chair he had been lounging in throughout most of the morning and heading outside. He wasn't going to leave, he just figured he'd sit on the patio and have a cigarette until the rush passed; they generally only lasted about ten minutes or so anyway.

He sat down, letting out a small groan. His back had been sore lately, and it probably wasn't helping all of these morning's he'd been sitting in that horrible chair. He couldn't seem to stop coming though. There was something about that little blonde barista he just found fascinating. Of course, he hadn't mustered up the courage to say anything to her. It was rather silly, honestly. Here he was, 2D, one of the most famous singers in the entire world, and he couldn't even gather up enough courage to ask a coffee shop worker out on a date. Of course, he'd been feeling rather washed up since the band had all gone their separate ways.

It was strange. Ever since they'd lost Noodle, everyone just sort of wanted nothing to do with one another. The most hurtful, of course, had been Murdoc. He'd always had a very close bond with him…at times even romantic. It had taken the bassist a while to come around, but over the years they'd fucked around with each other on and off. It was never anything official, but they'd definitely had feelings for one another; it had given D the confidence he'd longed for since he was a teenager. He remembered fondly the moment they'd first made love…it was a strange, and sudden moment; one of his most treasured.

…

_D sat nervously on the edge of the Satanist's bed. He had invited him into his Winnebago, which was absolutely beyond his scope of comprehension. Nonetheless, he was in his company, watching eagerly as his friend dug around through his things in search of some vodka._

"_Ah-ha! Here it is…sorry it's the cheap stuff…" he announced as he pulled a huge, plastic bottle of Popov out from underneath a pile of clothes. D couldn't help but smile._

"'_S okay, Muds. It'll be good."_

"_Ye, ye…" he mumbled under his breath as he opened it up and poured a shot for each of them, "'ere," he said as he handed D his._

"_Ta," he responded as he held onto it. He watched quietly as Murdoc tilted his head back and took the shot. He didn't make a face or anything once he was done…simply stared off into the distance. He was in a weird mood._

"_You okay, Muds?" D finally asked, still cradling his shot._

"_Drink," he responded, turning his head to see the shot still untouched._

"_Oh…sorry, okay," he said as he quickly downed his, struggling to swallow it. It definitely was some cheap vodka, and it caused him to make a face._

"_Eh…yea…it's shitty I know."_

"_No, no…it's okay."_

_Murdoc shook his head before sighing loudly and allowing himself to fall on the bed, his legs hanging over the edge. D wanted to ask again what it was that was troubling his friend, but before he could Murdoc grabbed onto his sleeve and pulled the singer down so that they were laying side by side._

"_Listen…I dunno how ya feel…but, I've been drinkin' an' I'm jus' gonna come out with it because at this point, I don't give a fuck."_

_D's eyes were wide as he stared, waiting to hear what it was that had been vexing the bassist so much._

"_I wanna fuck you," he stated, rather bluntly. His eyes were foggy; it was quite clear he was out of his mind._

"_W…wot?" D stammered, completely caught off guard. Sure, the two of them had been getting along unusually well for the last few months. In fact, he hadn't even been very afraid of him anymore because he hadn't received a beating in quite some time._

"_Are ye into it?" Murdoc urged, rolling over onto his side. He had the strangest look on his face. His words were absolutely insane, but the look on his face was calm, peaceful…almost loving._

"_Well…er…okay…" D replied, stupidly. He was still a little shocked, although he definitely was, um, "into it". He had been attracted to Murdoc since the day they'd met; he'd just never dreamed in a million years that Murdoc would want anything physical with him._

"_Alright then," the bassist answered, quickly putting his hand on the back of the singer's neck and pulling his lips to his._

_His mouth was warm and his tongue slid persuasively into the singer's mouth, causing him to breathe in harshly. His heart was racing and he could hardly control himself as he began to respond with hard, needy kisses. Murdoc also kissed him with just as much passion and the singer could feel his friend's heart racing just as fast as his was. It was a very exciting, passionate experience as the two of them pushed their tongues forcefully into one another's mouths, ripping each other's clothes off as quickly as they could possibly get them off._

_They needed each other and it wasn't long before they were tangled together, writhing around passionately with one another. It was the first of many, many of times._

…

"Excuse me," a familiar voice interrupted the singer's thoughts.

He blinked a few times in confusion before he realized that barista he'd been watching so quietly for the past month was standing before him with two cups of coffee in her hand, smiling warmly at him.

"Hello," he answered, sitting up in his chair. He was nervous.

"I couldn't help but notice you. I mean, well, not in a weird way…what I'm saying is, uh, you've been here a lot and I just wanted to say hello. You know, just being friendly if you'd like?" she stammered. Clearly she was nervous, too, which the singer found very adorable. He smiled softly at her as she handed him one of the cups.

"Thank you, Love," he said before taking a sip.

"You're very welcome," she answered, her smile turning into a beaming one. He chuckled.

"Do you do this wif all you're customers?" he asked playfully.

"Hah…well, no. Definitely not," she answered. He noticed a hint of redness to her cheeks; he was making her blush.

"So I'm special then," he joked.

She smiled at him before taking a sip of her coffee. She looked at the ground briefly before laughing nervously and looking at him curiously, "I, uh…no. I never do this actually," she looked up at the sky and stretched her arms out before sighing, "I just got off work. Um…again…I _never _do this. I just…there's something about you…" she began.

"D'ya need a ride home?" D interrupted, trying to make it easier on her. He knew where she was going with it.

"Well…I have my car…did you drive here?" she asked.

"No," he laughed, realizing he couldn't have driven her home anyway since he had walked there. He wasn't staying very far from the shop.

She laughed in response, "well it would seem _you _need a ride home then."

He chuckled again, "so it would seem."

"Well then…let me take you home," she responded.

"Okay," he answered, somewhat dazed.

He found it strange to be pondering upon the first awkward, long fuck he'd had with Murdoc only to be interrupted by his latest fancy…offering to take him home, nonetheless. What a shame to be missing someone and desiring another. It was confusing at best.

He got out of his chair and casually followed his new friend. She had a grey Pontiac Vibe, which he noticed very quickly was filthy as all hell. She clearly had a very hectic life style.

"Sorry about the mess," she said as though she could read his mind.

"'S okay. I'm sure yer very busy," the singer responded, a very genuine tone to his voice as he let himself into the car.

He sat in the passenger's seat, kicking aside some old fast food bags and a magazine with Lady GaGa on the cover.

"Oh gosh," she stammered as she quickly leaned over the singer and started collecting the trash off of the floor. He felt his blood start to rush as he watched her head bobbing up and down whilst she tried to clean, very near his groin. He was certain she was oblivious to the position she was in, so he tried very hard not to let himself become erect; it was of course futile.

"Sorry, sorry," she continued as she abruptly lifted her head and tossed the trash she'd collected into her back seat. The singer smiled gently at her before looking behind him to find a mound of trash in her back seat.

"It's really okay…perhaps one of these days I'll help ya clean that mess up, eh?" he chuckled.

She smiled at him, her cheeks becoming flushed once more. He was practically charming her out of her pants already! He focused ahead as she started the car and backed out of her space.

"Ye live far from here?" D asked, not wanting to sit in awkward silence.

"No…I live very close. You?"

"Close. I walked here so…yeah. Close."

She giggled, "Right…you needed a ride, duh!"

He smiled once more and looked down at his lap. He really did miss Murdoc terribly.

"Well…um…do you want some company?" she asked, her voice wavering a bit.

D turned his head and looked at her, "ya mean ya want ta come inta my place?" he asked.

"Um…yeah. Like…we could, uh, hang out or whatever," she stammered. She was obviously very unsure of herself and the situation she'd found herself in.

"Make a left here," the singer instructed as she exited the parking lot, "I live off of Oakwood…ya know where that is?"

She nodded.

"Okay…so make a right when we get ta Oakwood and it's the apartments on the right… 'Willow Springs Apartments'. Oh, and uh…you're more than welcome ta…er…hang out if ya want," he continued, shooting her a flirtatious glance as he finished.

She continued to blush as she pulled out onto the main road and headed towards the singer's place.

"So, wot's yer name, Love? Before we go ahead and do this," D asked.

The barista smiled, her blue eyes shining brilliantly as she looked at him for a brief moment, "Lily. And you're 2D…I know."

D grinned, "I figured. I was gonna introduce myself jus' in case though!" he explained, not wanting to sound too bold.

"It's okay," she excused as she pulled her car into the apartment complex, "that really was close!"

"Ye toldja so," D responded as she parked her car and the two of them got out.

Lily followed the singer timidly, looking around as though the whole world knew what they were about to do. She really never did such things.

There were Willow Trees surrounding the apartments, which she'd guessed was why the apartments had their name. It was quite nice, actually. The shade the trees provided gave a very nice ambience to the place. You could hear them rustling as the light breeze tickled their leaves. It was exciting and yet relaxing all at once.

"Okay, 'ere we go," D announced as he approached an apartment on the bottom floor. They were right beside a large, gated pool. The singer pushed the door open with his shoulder, since it apparently stuck, and stepped aside for his new companion to come in.

"Thank you," she said as she gracefully entered the apartment. It was dark since the blinds to the porch were shut. There was a small kitchen to the right, the living room and porch to the left, and a small hallway that she assumed led to the bedroom and bathroom ahead of her.

"Ya like it?" D asked as he shut the door and walked into the kitchen, taking his light summer jacket off and setting it on the counter.

"Yes, it's really cute," she answered as she walked over to the couch and took a seat. It was soft and comfortable. She sat for a moment and watched as her host pulled out a bottle of red wine and began to pour a healthy amount into two glasses.

"Ooh, wine!" she said in a tantalizing voice as she pulled her pony tail holder out of her hair and slid it onto her wrist, shaking her head around to let her long, golden blonde hair down. She was beautiful.

"Yea…cheap, but good," D chuckled as he brought the two wine glasses over to the couch. He sat down and handed her a glass.

"Thank you," she said graciously before putting her elbow on the back of the couch and propping her head up on her hand.

"So…how shall we do this then?" she asked, getting straight to the point.

D noticed how radiant she looked, even in the darkness of his apartment. She had on black slacks and a black business shirt, which was unbuttoned just enough for him to see the very top of her cleavage. Her breasts weren't overly large, nor were they small; just the right size.

"Well," he whispered as he leaned in grabbing her glass and setting them both on the table beside them, a little hesitant. He still wasn't sure if this was going to happen or not.

She smiled at him reassuringly, which gave him the go ahead. He gently put his pointer finger to her chest and trailed it down as far as the buttons would allow him to go. He could feel the pace of her breathing pick up, causing him to pause. He wanted to tease her for a moment.

He lifted his head up a bit and leaned in for a gentle kiss. At first, they simply parted their lips and kissed hesitantly. It was new and awkward and exciting. There were a lot of emotions rushing between the two of them as Lily timidly began to put her tongue into his mouth. They both breathed in sharply as she slid her tongue gently against his. He shut his lips on her tongue for just a brief moment before letting out a single moan and pushing his hand up to the back of her head, bringing her in for a passionate kiss. They breathed heavily in and out of each other's mouths as they kissed each other desperately.

"Oh," D let out another gasp as he suddenly pushed his hands onto her full breasts, causing her to toss her head back and moan herself. That was all he could stand; he ravenously unbuttoned her shirt and pushed it off of her shoulders as he laid her down on the couch. She allowed him to position himself on top of her and unclasp her bra, exposing her perfectly round, perky breasts. He quickly thrust himself down and began to suck on them. She was tingling all over with excitement as she writhed around beneath him, moaning softly every now and again.

"You're perfect," he whispered as he lifted himself up and began unbuttoning his pants. She curled her legs up and took her pants and her pink thong off as well. She moaned once more as the singer quickly pushed his face between her legs, his tongue wildly making it's way across her most intimate parts. She put her hand on top of his head as he passionately pleasured her before she started to pull his head back up.

He panted as he kissed her harshly, thrusting himself inside of her. She let out a cry as he began to find his pace. He was dizzy with desire and could barely hold himself back as she moaned and screamed. She was begging him to fuck her harder and he did, starting to moan himself. It was intense as she clawed at his back, bit his neck and begged for more.

"I'm gonna go, c'n I go?" he started to beg as he felt himself about to explode.

"Yes, yes…!" she screamed as he sped up, pushing himself as far inside of her as he could before they both let out a final cry, climaxing together.

"Oh fuck," he gasped as he allowed himself to fall gently upon her. They were both sweaty and panting as she put her arms around him, allowing him to rest his head in the nape of her neck. They fell asleep this way, exhausted.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

*Author's Note: okay, so this story MAY be a bit slow paced, but I SWEAR it's going places. There will be much angst and drama, I promise…so just hang in there Murdoc/2D fans :D*

Six Months Later…

The weather had cooled and the Holidays were approaching. It certainly had been a wise choice to pursue this thing with Lily due to the fact that Christmas and New Years were approaching; no one likes to be alone during the Holidays. He'd been so smitten with her in fact, that he'd invited her to move in with him, which she'd eagerly accepted. Yes, things had been going quite well between the two of them; tons of passion, fun and all the sex he could possibly handle.

"Ooooh, it's so cold," Lily's adorable voice chirped from the living room.

D smiled at her, admiring her. She still captivated him, even as she leaned over the small apartment fireplace dressed in plaid pajama pants and one of his old blue T-shirts. Her blonde hair was a mess from the sex they'd had upon waking just a few hours ago. She had no work today, and he never had anywhere to be, so they'd planned a nice day in.

"Yea, sure is. 'ere, lemme help you," he responded as he stood up from the couch and walked over to her side.

"Oh, thank you," she said, grinning at him. She had this look in her eyes as he grabbed the poker and prodded at the wood in the fireplace. She'd already gotten it lit, but couldn't seem to keep it going, and he was taking over for her, which she found wildly attractive. He was always doing sweet things like that to help take care of her. In fact, she was very quickly falling for him. She was certain she was in love, but still hadn't mustered up the courage to tell him in all the time they'd been seeing each other. It was a strange order to things, honestly. Who moves in with someone before they've established their love for one another? Of course, why would he ask her to move in if he wasn't in love with her?

She smiled at the thought. He must be in love with her. After all, it was very clear that they were in an exclusive relationship. She knew there was no worry of sex with anyone else, as they were definitely beyond that point now that they were living together. It all pointed to the fact that they were becoming something very serious, and she found herself getting butterflies in her stomach just thinking about it. How had she gotten so lucky?

"There," her boyfriend announced as he allowed himself to fall backwards, sitting Indian-style beside her.

"Thanks, Stuart," she said before leaning in for a quick kiss.

He kissed her back very affectionately. He was quite fond of her. Not entirely in love with her, which was a worry for him. He'd felt like she was going to tell him she loved him on several occasions over the last two weeks or so. It freaked him out, and he wasn't sure what his course of action would be were she to say it. He sort of just wanted things to stay the way they were…it was fun. He wasn't ready to exactly be one hundred percent committed to her, seeing as there was a very large part of him that was still waiting for the band to get back together, which would of course mean his torrid affair with Murdoc would more than likely continue. They'd never been anything official, but in some unspoken way, he knew that their hearts belonged to one another, and he had no intentions of giving any of that heart away to this girl. Perhaps he'd sent the wrong message by inviting her to live with him.

It wasn't that he didn't care for her. He did; very deeply so in fact. But he knew in his heart of hearts that he could never marry her…unless of course all hope of ever being with Murdoc were to end. He couldn't imagine any scenario in which that would be true though.

"You know…I'm really enjoying this," Lily stated, a soft and caring tone to her voice.

Fuck…here she goes.

"Yes, I am too. I fink we're a fun match, yes?" he responded, trying to avert her from saying those three little words.

She'd noticed it, too. She decided to ignore it, however. She could sense that he wasn't ready for her to profess her newfound love to him, and that was fine. He would grow to love her; she simply knew it.

"So, do you just want to stay in today, then? Maybe we should go out and get something to eat? You know, a brunch or something?"

"Sure, why not, that sounds fine."

"Alright, I'll just go ahead and hop in the shower. Do you want to join me?" She asked, her blue eyes shimmering; she wanted him again.

"Er, as tempting as that is, Love, I was actually hoping to 'ave a quick smoke. I'll just dress and throw some cologne on or summink if it's all the same to you?"

"Aw, okay," she replied, making a very cute pouty face at him for a brief second before smiling at him again. He returned the smile as he watched her hop up, somewhat skipping off to the shower. God, she really was adorable.

"Uhhhh," he sighed to himself, laying flat on his back and putting both hands to his temples. He was stressed. He knew she was going to say it…it was just a matter of time. Why hadn't he had the brains to see this far before asking her to move in? It was a mistake.

He stood up and made his way to his room. It was dark, seeing as they hadn't even bothered to open up the shades yet. He was fine with that as he made his way across the generously sized room, opening up the top drawer of his wooden dresser. There were lots of girlie body sprays and makeup things on top of it now that he had a roommate. It was sort of irritating and sort of comforting all at once. How could it be that this woman was so welcome, yet at the same time unwelcome to him? Why couldn't he just make up his mind and commit to either being alone or being with her.

The answer was simple, he realized as he slipped into a pair of jeans and a pink T-shirt with a giant exclamation point on it…having someone around to fuck and talk with was a hell of a lot better than waiting around for Murdoc. He found himself wondering if it would really be all that terrible if he were to just move on. After all, he'd gotten through what he'd figured was the worst part of getting over him. Or had he? Honestly, he wasn't even sure if he was or ever would be over him.

He let out another sigh as he slipped on a black suit jacket and spritzed a bit of cologne on himself. He looked up at the mirror above his dresser and began to carefully dishevel his blue hair. He looked as though he'd showered; success!

He smirked a bit. At least he was good at appearing good. Hah! What a notion. He shook his head as he walked out of his room, the noise of the shower water running reassuring him that he had the next fifteen minutes or so to himself; thank heaven. He walked down the hallway and located a small green box of Newport cigarettes on the kitchen counter, grabbing a fag out of the box before heading towards the patio. The blinds were still drawn so he grabbed the small stick and guided it to his right, letting the sunlight in. He winced a bit, not entirely ready to greet the sun, though in desperate need for his nicotine fix. It was a fair trade he supposed as he opened up the glass sliding door. He felt a bit better as he realized it wasn't windy, though quite cold. He found himself shivering a bit as he shut the door behind him and located a lighter on the small, white table they'd had sitting outside. It was plastic and a bit dirty. He had no clue why he'd purchased such cheap furniture.

He flicked the red lighter and sucked in his first drag…fucking hell that was good.

"Uh…" he muttered once more as he continued to smoke, using his free hand to rub his arm. He was trying to warm up a bit. Fuck it was cold…he couldn't wait for summer to return…although he had quite a while.

He felt a little guilty as he stood outside, shivering and pathetic. Here he was, making this perfectly delightful, beautiful young woman think that he was ready to share his life with her and he simply wasn't. Perhaps he should just be with her. Fuck, he hadn't heard from Murdoc in over a year at this point…it seemed as though he would never come back. Why keep holding out for what could've been or could be? Here he had this amazing woman waiting here for him, and he was somewhat treating her as a simple piece of ass, when in all honesty that's not all she was to him.

He took another drag, calming his nerves a bit. Thank God for these fucking cigarettes.

"D!" Lily's voice called out as she slid the door open a bit. Her hair was wet and she had a towel wrapped around her.

"Wot issit, Love?" he asked, startled. That was fast…?

"We're out of shampoo I think," she whined, frustrated that she'd started her shower only to be unable to complete it.

He smirked at her, "just use my body wash…it'll do the same thing."

She squinched her face up in distaste, causing him to giggle a bit.

"Oh you like that face?" she teased before making it at him once more.

"I love that face," he replied, somewhat in a trance.

"Oh, you _love _this face. What about me then?" she blurted out before the smile faded from her face. Fuck…she hadn't meant to say that.

D looked at her, an awkward smile on his face for a brief moment. What the fuck, why not?

"I…I love you as well," he answered stupidly. Guess that decision was just made.

Her blue eyes widened, "you do?"

He looked down at the ground, giving himself a moment to think as he took another drag of his cigarette. He did this for just a second before lifting his head and making eye contact with her, smiling, "you know what? I do."

A beaming smile made it's way across her face, "I love you, too, Stu."

She stuck her head out of the door and looked around for a moment, causing D to step back a bit…what the hell was she doing?

"Well then," she began, pushing the door open a bit, but still remaining inside, "I suggest you come join me in the shower," she urged, dropping her towel.

His eyes widened…she was crazy! He looked around now, panicked to see if anyone was around…they weren't. He smiled devilishly at her, "why don't you come join me out here?" he asked.

Her face flushed red, "you want me to fuck you on the porch?" she asked, a somewhat shocked yet flirtatious tone to her voice.

"I would very much like to have you, right here, on this porch," he stated. He was very serious.

She popped her head out again, looking side to side; still no one. It was a Tuesday…most people were at work, she supposed.

"Okay," she giggled stepping outside.

He grabbed her and pulled her in for a deep kiss, dropping his cigarette on the ground beside them. And so they spent the next half an hour or so, celebrating their newfound love.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

*Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews They make me so happy! Also, a quick shout out to waterfall tears! You've been reading my stories for a few years! Thank you so much for continuing to read my stuff…it really is awesome :D Also, there's going to be a LOT of time jumping in this story. So…just be prepared for that. I don't think it'll be confusing or anything though…and I'm trying not to rush through this…as tempting as it is to get to the meat of it, the build up is JUST as important :P*

The cold weather bit at his olive skin. He hated this horrid country; what was all the fuss about being American anyway? From what he could see it was nothing but a bunch of spoiled prats whining and complaining about not having enough cheeseburgers at their disposal. It truly was a disgusting place. Nonetheless, he had to be here.

"Fuck!" he muttered as a quick gust of ice cold wind blasted him in the face. He had on a black hoodie and he quickly tugged at the strings, closing the hood as much as he could around his face. It was already December…it'd been over a year since he'd allowed his band to split up, and he was fed up with it. He needed to collect them all, seeing as he was going out of his mind with boredom and, much to his distaste, loneliness. Of course, he wouldn't be admitting that unless it became absolutely necessary, which he didn't foresee happening. Of course, he'd never pictured himself hitch-hiking with a bunch of pirates to sneak his ass into America.

"Bunch of sodding pieces of shit," he grumbled as he thought about it. It had been _quite_ the venture to get overseas. He'd been allowed to board a ship called "The Black Mamba" in exchange for his servitude throughout the voyage. He'd agreed very reluctantly, and the entire trip he found himself wishing he could just forget about the Gorillaz and move on with his life. However, he couldn't, so he was forced to scrub decks, cook meals and even fucking tend to the captain's every desire. He had to fucking wash that motherfucker's feet, scrub his toilet (yeah, he had a fucking working toilet on his pirate ship…what a pansy), make his bed…all of those ridiculous things that he could've easily handled himself. Of course, he'd known that he would be humiliated and abused going into the situation. It was worth it, though. Well…he'd hoped anyway.

He let out a deep sigh as he continued to walk. He was along the coast of Santa Monica, California. It really was a beautiful place, although he'd supposed it was probably nicer in the summer. Right now it was just bloody damn freezing, and he trudged along, fighting the wind as it struggled to hold him back. Maybe that was a sign that he shouldn't be pushing ahead with all of this. Perhaps he should just shack up somewhere and enjoy the California Coast…just forget about all of this crazy "getting the band back together" shit. It was a tempting thought as he toyed with the idea that 2D might not want any part of this. He knew that Russel would give in eventually, but 2D…that was a different story.

Perhaps if the dullard hadn't met anyone at this point, which he highly doubted. He was such a good catch, how could he not be attached to anyone? The Satanist had been contemplating how he would handle it if D were, indeed, attached. He supposed at that point he would just let it go…after all, it would be nearly impossible for the two of them to go on just as friends.

"Fuck!" he spoke again, this time a bit louder. The wind was frustrating him. The thought of 2D fucking someone else was frustrating him. The thought of losing his band for good was unthinkable. This was just too daunting a task…he couldn't bare the thought of 2D rejecting him, a complete end to this strange and fucked up relationship the two of them had had. Maybe it was just better to let sleeping dogs lie? Accept that what they had was absolute perfection and be glad that it ended as absolute perfection. Wouldn't it be better to never actually say goodbye and simply hold on to fond memories? He supposed that would be better than meeting up with him and being rejected; then all of the wonderful memories they'd had together would be moot.

He continued to walk, pondering just what the hell it was he should do now that he was actually in America until he arrived at his destination.

He was still on the street that ran parallel to the glorious beach of Santa Monica, and he found himself shaking not only with chill, but also with nerves as he stood before Hobbs Studios. This was it…the first step to figuring out what he should do. It was a petite building, and it was just a tad bit run down, as most ocean side homes are. It was charming really. The walls were an off-white and the trim around the windows and roof a light blue…very beach-y.

"Well, here ya go ol' Muds," he quietly stated to himself as he breathed in heavily and held it. He felt as though if he were to hold in his breath perhaps he'd be safer; it made absolutely no sense but it made him feel better as he reach out and opened the door to the studio. A small bell rang as he entered, immediately greeted by a relieving warmth.

"Oooh," he shivered off the cold that had been clinging to him as he stepped in further. It was nice inside; the floors were hard wood and there was a two-seater brown couch to the left of the entrance along with some assorted plants. He looked around, drinking in the studio for a moment. No one was behind the brown reception desk in front of him, so he removed his sweater and had himself a seat on the couch. He figured someone had probably heard the bell when he came in, so he would go ahead and wait.

He continued to look around, as he mustled with his oily black hair. He hadn't had a proper shower since he'd ported…it was high on his to-do list, actually. He was wearing his traditional gray, long-sleeved shirt, tight blue jeans and brown Beatle boots. Just as he'd always looked.

Suddenly, he stood up as he heard heavy footsteps coming out from behind the counter. He was certain it was Russel.

"Oh my God!" he heard a booming voice greet as his old friend emerged from one of the rooms in the back, "Murdoc-Fucking-Niccals!" he laughed, unable to contain his surprise and admitted joy. He was thrilled to see his old band mate.

"What the fuck're you doin' here!" he asked, laughing as he walked into the waiting area and hugged the bassist. Normally, Murdoc would protest, but he was actually quite happy to see the drummer and allowed himself a moment of pleasantries with him.

"Russ! 'ey!" he returned as he patted his back, ending the embrace the two of them had shared. They part and looked each other over for a second, taking in how different they'd become.

Russel was absolutely enormous…it seemed he never stopped growing; though he looked quite healthy, much to the Satanist's surprise. If he was doing well, then D must've been also. He shuttered a bit.

Russel found himself unsure of how the bassist must've been doing. He looked thin and frail. He was filthy (though that was quite normal) and he had dark circles under his eyes.

"Oh…your eye!" Russel gasped as he realized Murdoc's red eye had somehow returned to normal.

"Oh, er, ye. It's no biggie. My contract wif Satan…it's void now on account'a Noodle's not around and such. Wiffout the grea'est band in tha world, I no longer owe my soul. He shoulda took it sooner, I s'ppose! Bet that red bastards sittin' down there cursin' 'imself fer waitin'!" he laughed at the thought.

"Wow, that's great news though Muds, really!" Russel stated, glad to hear there was something good happening for his old friend after the break up. He'd worried about him, seeing as he'd always had the most invested in the band. He wasn't even sure if he would keep his sanity once they'd all gone their separate ways.

"So, what brings you into town?" Russel continued as he locked the studio door and turned the "open" sign around to "closed". It was late, anyway…about 5:30…it was starting to get dark.

"Actually," Murdoc began, leaning against the reception desk, "I'm not entirely sure," he admitted.

Russel nodded, also leaning, facing the bassist with eager attention. He was genuinely interested, which gave Murdoc a bit of a kick.

"What do ya mean?" Russ pried.

"Well, erm…" he sighed, frustrated. He wasn't sure how to bring any of this up, "Look…I…at first I came 'ere ta try and salvage the band an' all. I wanted…well I want…um…well, I _thought_ maybe we could try an' make thin's work an' all. But…ya know…as I'm walkin' I can't seem ta shake this feelin' that it ain't gonna work…so…'ere I am now. I can't decide if we should try an' make fings work or if I should jus' settle down 'ere and move the fuck on…ya know?"

Russel nodded, to show he was following. He thought about it many-a-time. He had to admit, there was a little part of him that wanted to get the band back together; it was just that things had gotten so crazy when Noodle disappeared. First of all, they didn't have their guitarist, and Murdoc had tried to replace her with a goddamned robot, which had pushed Russel over the edge. That was the thing he'd supposed made him really want to leave. And, as much as he wouldn't _ever _want anyone to find out, _he _had been the one to burn down Kong Studios. Of course, Murdoc would probably kill him if he knew that, so he'd decided to keep it to himself.

"Ya know, Man…damn, I've thought about that shit a lot," Russel admitted, looking up at the ceiling, a reminiscing tone to his voice, "I'm really not sure either, though. I just don't know if we can mesh together anymore, Muds."

Murdoc lowered his eyes and twiddled his thumbs a bit, "yeah…I know wotcha mean. I 'ave the same worries. I dunno…I mean…I wouldn't mind _tryin'_ an' all…it's jus'…ya know tha shit between me and D…I dunno…wot if he's got 'imself someone else now? I mean…why the fuck wouldn't he?" he chuckled a bit, though really not amused, "He's fuckin' perfect…why the fuck wouldn't he 'ave gotten 'imself someone else at this point? Ya know? An' how could we work togeva if that's the case? And…things ended okay between me an' him…well…they neva really _ended _ so to speak, but, uh, I'm okay right now…an' I dunno if I'd be okay if I sawr 'im wif someone else…" he was rambling a bit.

Russel, once again, nodded, "yeah, I know. Man, I haven't seen, D…I have no idea what he's got goin' on in his life. I wish I could be of assistance to you there. I guess you just gotta figure out what you can and can't deal with, Man. I mean, if you can swallow that pride of yours and deal with him having someone else I say fuck it, let's get this band back together….I fuckin' miss us all together, you know? But if you can't, then I say you can stay here with me for a while until you get on your feet. California's nice, Man…I think you'd like it here."

Murdoc started to lean his foot back and forth, his nerves obviously shot. Russel sighed, realizing this was not going to be a right-here-and-now decision.

"Look…you look like you've had a fuckin' rough ass time…let's go ahead and grab us some beers and fuckin' chill on the beach. It's completely illegal, but nobody fucks with me because I'm famous, and Californians _love _they celebrities!" Russel laughed a bit. American's were just as caught up in that shit as the Brits were.

Murdoc nodded, a little relieved to exit the conversation, "I think, for now, I'll jus' stay 'ere wif you fer a while," he sighed, knowing he wouldn't be able to arrive at a conclusion any time soon.

"That's fine, you're always welcome Muds."

The Satanist smiled half-heartedly at his old friend, "let's go git some beer then," he sighed.

"Alright, let's go get some beer," Russel repeated, patting the Satanist on the back.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

*Author's Note: Hello Just continuing the story. Just for a bit of background information for the beginning here…the SSL is a really big recording board! It's used a lot in music recording and mixing. Okie dokie…just wanted to explain! Thanks! Oh…and Murdoc is going to be just a _touch _out of character for a _wee_ bit. I'm making him a little out of it for a while.*

"Hey, what's up?" Russel greeted as he popped up behind the Satanist. It was Christmas day and the studio was closed, but they had stopped by to restart their SSL. It was healthy to restart it every so often since the electronics in it tended to get a little funky sometimes.

The bassist jumped a bit, startled at Russel's sudden entrance in the room. He had been leaning over the electronics in the closet they'd designated for the SSL setup.

"Christ, ya scared me!" he growled, standing up right and trying to compose himself.

"Sorry, sorry," Russel laughed, somewhat tickled at the fact that he'd made him jump, "I jus' wanted to go ahead and give you this," he explained as he pulled a small package out from behind his back. It was wrapped up in sparkly red rapping paper with a little skull tied to the top with green ribbon.

"Wot? Why?" Murdoc asked, completely oblivious to the fact that it was a Holiday gift.

"It's Christmas," Russel urged, pushing it towards the bassist.

"I don't celebrate Christmas, Russ," he muttered, reluctantly taking the package.

"I know…just think of it as a house warming present or something then. A welcoming gift to you."

Murdoc raised his eyebrows as he started to unwrap it, "I've been witcha a couple a weeks now…but…awright, I'll do that I s'ppose."

He tore at the paper, though not overly eager. He was just trying to be polite at this point. He felt a little stupid actually…all of this fluff.

"Oh, shit…" he murmered, realizing it was actually a gift he enjoyed. It was a DI box for his bass. DI boxes were absolutely spectacular for recording bass lines…it really brought out that punch, "wow, well…fuck, thanks Russ," he said, a hint of surprise creeping into his voice.

"Aw, it's no biggie. I thought you would like that."

"I didn't git you nuffin'," Murdoc admitted, a glimpse of shame appearing on his face.

"Oh, shit, don't worry about that!" Russel said, a very genuine tone to his voice, "I know you don't do this whole Holiday thing. I just really wanted to get that for you. Honestly, I happened upon it by chance when I was looking for some gear for the studio."

Murdoc nodded his head, looking down at the floor. He really felt shitty that he hadn't gotten Russel something. It would've been a nice gesture since he'd been letting him stay with him and all.

"Hey, seriously, don't worry about it," Russel urged, "now let's get the fuck out of this studio…we here all the time! I was thinking we could go out and get us some drinks, huh?"

Murdoc nodded once more, balling up the wrapping paper, carefully making sure to collect the skull. He really didn't want to appear as though he were ungrateful, because he most definitely wasn't. Russel noticed how uncomfortable the gift giving had made him and felt a little guilty about it. It had never crossed his mind that Murdoc would feel bad about not having gotten him something. He honestly figured that the gift giving would've went down with a little less gratitude. The Murdoc he knew would've just growled and called him stupid and went on as though nothing had even happened. He was different than he'd remembered him.

Russel opened the door for the two of them, stepping out into the cold. The relaxing sound of waves crashing down on the beach sand instantly greeted the two of them, and both of them felt it's soothing effects greatly. It always felt nice to get out of the studio.

Not that the two of them didn't enjoy working there. Murdoc especially did, to be frank. He got to work with music and get paid under the table so as not to be noticed. It would've been a lot more difficult for him to stay in America had it not been for Russel's generosity. He was letting him help with tracking the artists (if that's what you could call them…most of it was shit) and he had let him have his own room in his apartment, which wasn't very big to begin with. Especially not considering the man's size.

The two of them walked along the beach, heading towards an atheist-owned bar that Russel knew about a few blocks away. The only place around open on Christmas! They must've been very committed.

"So, have you been thinking at all about what you want to do, Man?" Russel asked, breaking the silence between them. He figured that probably had something to do with Murdoc's laid-back demeanor.

"Erm…well…ta be honest I'm finkin' maybe I should jus' let it go. I want my band back an' all, but…I gotta good fing goin', ya know? I'm not in debt to that fucker Satan anymore and…well…I dunno…America's kinda nice," he admitted.

He was walking with his hands in the pockets of his old Vietnam-style jacket. Russel couldn't help but feel his heart sink a bit. That was the last thing he'd expected to hear out of Murdoc's mouth; The Gorillaz had meant everything to him. Fuck, that band was his entire life. They were his entire life. As much as he knew Murdoc would never admit it (even in the rather subdued state he was in) the members meant just as much as the "band". This must've been about 2D.

"Here we are," Russel announced as they walked up to a small, run down looking bar. It was all rotting out wood and the sign, which read "Hell Hole", was tilted off to one side.

"Don't care too much ta upkeep this dump, do they?" Murdoc snickered.

"Fuck no they don't!" Russel laughed as he opened the door and stood aside, allowing Murdoc to go in ahead of him.

The bassist was instantly greeted with a rush of warmth. Despite the rough exterior, the inside wasn't all that horrible. There were little white Christmas lights all over the place and the juke box in the left corner of the bar was currently playing, of all things, "Clint Eastwood", which made Murdoc feel a little sick to his stomach. It made him think of how things used to be…

…

_ "Oh, Muds…I jus' dunno 'bout this…" D whined._

_ "Quit yer whinin' dullard and hold that bat like yer gonna use it!" The bassist growled, irritated._

_ The angelic singer did as he was told. They were both hiding behind the large Gargoyle statue in the graveyard of Kong Studios. There were zombies literally everywhere…right in the Satanist's way. He had somehow managed to get the Geep stuck in the mud behind the graves during a little bit of "off-roading" he'd suckered D into partaking in._

_ "Can't we jus' hide somewhere until morning?" D begged. He was down on his knees shivering. The rain had drenched him and he was literally starting to sink down into the mud. His blue hair was matted all over his face, falling into his empty eyes. He looked absolutely adorable. Of course, the Satanist didn't have time to marvel at his, er, beauty at the moment._

_ "No! Fuck! D'ya wanta fuckin' sleep out in this sodding rain? We'd both git sick. Now grow a fuckin' pair er I'm gonna start beatin' the fuck outta ya!" He shouted._

_ D winced at his angered tone. He didn't mean to upset him, but he was really scared._

_ "Okay, okay," he said, straightening his shoulders and squinting his eyes. He struggled to look as though he were being manly and tough so as to impress the bassist. Of course, he just looked completely ridiculous._

_ Murdoc rolled his eyes before leaning forward a bit and peaking out from around the grave. His brown boots were beginning to sink into the mud as well, which was starting to make him nervous. Nonetheless, he had to remain focused. He looked out at the ocean of zombies that were slowly trudging towards them. Fuck…how were they going to get around all of those mother fuckers? It really did seem hopeless._

_ D watched as Murdoc struggled to make his plan. His black hair was flattened out and his skin was at least two shades lighter seeing as the rain had washed off a few layers of filth. This was probably the closest thing he'd had to a bath in weeks. He was holding a crowbar that they'd had inside of the Geep, which was shaking in his hands. He was trembling…this made D nervous._

_ "I wish we'd had a gun in the Geep," the singer suggested, trying to lighten the mood, though in all fairness genuine._

_ Murdoc just shot him a nasty glance. This was no time for jokes. He opened his mouth to scold the dullard when suddenly…_

_FWOOSH!_

_He'd disappeared._

_ "Murdoc? Muds! Oh God…Muds!" The singer pleaded, utterly confused. Where had he gone?_

_ "FUCK!" he heard the Satanist's voice ring out. It sounded as though it were coming from beneath him. Just as he started to put it together, he felt the ground beneath him start to give. They were on top of a grave!_

_ "WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" D screamed as he, too, fell down into the ground, "Mudsie…oh no, Mudsie we're in a grave!" he whined, not in any mood to be trapped in someone else's…oh shit…was there someone buried here?_

_ "It's just us," Murdoc explained, somehow knowing what the singer was thinking._

_ Rain continued to pour down on them in sheets as a wave of relief washed itself over the singer's face._

_ "Oh…" he mumbled, leaning against the muddy wall of the grave. They were a good 20 feet down in the ground. It was quite a predicament._

_ "Well," Murdoc began, "I guess they're gonna fuckin' eat our brains out down here."_

_ The singer's eyes widened. It would've been comical had his statement not been true. This was D's absolute worst nightmare._

_ "Oh God, Muds we're gonna git eaten!" he sobbed, sliding down the side of the wall and balling himself up in the corner._

_ The bassist stared at him for a moment, irritated at just how quickly he was willing to give up._

_ "I always knew I would go this way, Muds," he continued, burying his head into his arms. The Satanist rolled his eyes in response._

_ "Uuuuuuhhhhnnnn," he heard a moan from above them._

_ "FUCK!" he shouted, jumping back into the wall opposite D. The zombies…they were surrounding the grave. Fuck…maybe they really were going to die this way. Shit…this was NOT the way he wanted to go. He watched quietly for a moment, struggling to swallow the panic squeezing his throat. This went on for a few moments before the bassist, much to his amusement, realized the mother fuckers couldn't get into the grave. They were all just standing there, like dumb asses, moaning and looking down at them._

_ "Hey…hey D! They can't fuckin' git down here!" he laughed, attempting to mock them as well as inform the singer that he was safe._

_ "But they live in tha ground…whadda ya mean they can't git down here?" D asked, lifting his head up a bit to look at his friend._

_ "Look…look up! I dunno why they can't git down here, but they can't!" he laughed, pointing up at the undead monsters, really trying to piss them off. They seemed frustrated._

_ D looked up and jumped a bit. He was terrified of them. Murdoc tilted his head a bit and narrowed his eyes at his band mate, somewhat charmed by his fear. He wasn't sure why, but he found it endearing._

_ "They're going away," the singer whispered, leaning forward a bit. He was on his hands and knees looking up. _

_ Murdoc also turned his attention upwards again to see that he was correct. They'd given up._

_ "Well fuck," he announced, "that was a helluva lot easier than trying to beat our way through that mess, eh?" he laughed walking over next to his mate and having a seat in the mud._

_ The two of them looked at each other for a moment before they started to chuckle together, relieved to be alive._

_ "Hey…so…uh…I guess we're stuck 'ere until the sun comes up then, huh?" D asked, realizing that they were going to have to either sleep or stay awake in this muddy hell hole._

_ "Erm…ye I guess," he sighed leaning himself back into the wall. They were both filthy._

_ "I'm cold," 2D whined, shivering. He was sitting again with his arms around his legs, burying his face in them._

_ Murdoc was going to snap at him, but as he looked him over he really could see that he was cold. Fuck…it was going to be a long night, may as well make it as pleasant as it could be._

_ "'ere," he said softly, pulling off his old Vietnam jacket and wrapping it around the singer._

_ D smiled as he the bassist held his embrace and laid his head into the singer's shoulder, sighing heavily._

_ "Ta," he said graciously, sniffling a bit._

_ Rain continued to pour down on the two of them for a few minutes before Murdoc lifted his head, causing the singer to make eye contact with him._

_ They looked at each other very briefly before they began to kiss. Neither of them was really sure why, but, at that moment in time, it just seemed right to fuck. And they did…_

…

"What's up?" Russel urged causing the bassist to snap back into reality, noting that he was wearing the same Vietnam jack he'd worn that night. He shuddered a bit.

"Nuffin'…jus' tired."

Russel eyed him for a moment.

"It's D, isn't it?"

Murdoc sighed and rolled his eyes. He had on that silly Captain's hat he'd bought a few days ago. He was suddenly obsessed with pirate shit after his trip.

"Fuck, I don't wanna talk about it. Can't we jus' 'ave a fuckin' drink without talkin' like a couple a girls? You goddamned fat sonovabitch…" he grumbled, leaning his head onto his hand, which was propped up on the table.

Russel smiled to himself. There we go…that was familiar.

"A'ight, whatever you say," he replied, taking a swig of the beer he'd just ordered.

…

"Soooo…what didja think?" Lily cooed as she nuzzled up with D on the couch. They were under a fuzzy, warm blanket watching old 'Seinfeld' reruns. There were cinnamon and apple scented candles lit on the coffee table before them, giving the nice aroma of Christmas to their apartment. He smiled at the warmth he was experiencing not only physically, but emotionally as well.

"I fink this is the best Christmas eva!" he replied, a beaming smile on his face.

"Did you like your gift?" She asked, eager to get a read out on their first Christmas together.

"I did," he smiled, looking at the giant stuffed panda bear beside the coach. It was huge…Literally the size of the singer. As much as it seemed inappropriate to give to a boyfriend, he quite enjoyed the over-sized stuffed bear.

Lily began to fidget…she still hadn't received her gift. Had he forgotten? No way! He must've had something really good. She didn't want to ask him for her but…

"Well…" she began.

"Yes?" he asked, pretending to be oblivious of the fact that she hadn't gotten her gift yet. He was dying to give it to her, but felt a little tease would be fun.

"Did you get me anything?" she asked, about to explode with curiosity. She was adorable.

"Oh right…yes…I'd almost forgotten," he said casually as he got up from the couch and reached into his pocket, taking great care to keep the gift hidden behind his back.

"Ooooh!" she squealed, realizing that he'd had it that whole time. She was so excited, "Can I open it?" she asked, tilting her head and putting her hands together.

"Hmmmm," he said as though he wasn't sure, looking up at the roof and tapping his foot.

"Oh please…" she asked, a brilliant smile across her face.

"Maybe…" he continued to taunt.

"I can totally get that from you," she teased.

"Oh yeah? You fink?"

"I know!" she laughed as she lunged forward and started to tickle him.

"Ahhhh ha…" he giggled, still holding the gift behind his back. They wiggled around together, laughing hysterically before she managed to grab it.

"Ah ha!" she shouted victoriously as she held onto a small, grey, velvet box. She gasped as she realized what kind of box it was. They were on the couch, D laying persuasively on top of her, smiling at her softly.

"D…" she whispered as he gently took the box from her hand.

"Lily," he began, opening the box, "would ya do me the honor?"

She felt her heart begin to race as she set her eyes on a small, white gold ring with a square shaped diamond in the center.

"Stuart! Of course I will!" she squealed as she hugged him, a little breathless.

D grinned at her, feeling quite accomplished at the happiness he'd just given her.

"Alright then…'ere ya are, fiancée," he whispered, sliding the ring onto her finger before kissing her tenderly.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

It was beginning to warm a bit as Spring made it's very first hints of arrival. The beach was starting to crowd more, which made the singer smile as he walked along it. They hadn't lived all that far from it, but he'd never really ventured over this way because he knew that Russel's studio was around. However, as his wedding approached, he thought maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea to invite his old friend. Of course, he'd thought about what might happen if he were to tell Murdoc. In the long run, however, he'd figured it would be best if he didn't have to tell him face to face in a situation where Murdoc may have decided to track him down. That would just be horrible.

"Excuse me!" someone shouted out from behind him, causing him to turn abruptly. It was a bicyclist struggling to get through the crowd. How rude he'd thought as he stepped aside. He should've been on the designated bicycle area! He figured that would get sorted out though…there were police _everywhere _along the beach on account of the bums. It was weird; it was a very upscale area, yet there were still beach bums. Although, he'd supposed they were a higher class of bums really. Nothing compared to the displays he'd seen in other areas.

He squinted in the sunlight as he continued to walk, shaking off his irritation. His blue hair was shining vibrantly as he walked. He was well dressed seeing as he was planning on going to his old friend's studio. He most certainly didn't want to give off the impression he hadn't done well for himself. Although, he really wasn't sure how he was doing.

He let out a deep sigh as he reached into his black suit jacket pocket and pulled out his pack of cigs. He was wearing a white T-shirt beneath it, a pair of dark blue jeans and some old converse. He opened up the pack and took a cig out, stopping just outside of the studio. He had to have a bit of nicotine in him if he was really going to do this.

The singer was absolutely nerve racked as he thought about it. He knew it would go well. It always went well with Russ…still…something was nagging at him to stay away.

He shook his head as he thought about it, lighting his cigarette and taking a substantial drag. It felt good to just stand there. The sun's warmth was rather comforting he'd noticed as he turned his back to the studio and stared out at the beach before him. It was so beautiful. He couldn't help but feel a bit more like himself as he started to realize he was going to talk to one of his former band mates. He had been quite different with Lily; not that that was a bad thing. He wasn't a bad person now; just different.

He smiled to himself as he watched some children playing on the beach, families just a few feet away. There were plenty of tempting aromas emanating from all of the beach side restaurants as well as the ambience of tons of tourists and natives chatting and having a general good time. That was the thing around the beach; even if someone was sad they didn't vocalize it. Mostly if someone was sad or nervous they would just look out at the ocean and bask in the environment it provided, much like he was at that very moment.

Damn. The cigarette was gone. He dropped it to his feet and stomped it before turning around and facing the studio again. It was time to face him. He sucked in his breath and held it, hoping he could get through it, as he walked up to the door and let himself inside.

Once he'd stepped inside he quickly took in the environment. It was nice, warm and inviting. Of course, he'd been taken aback as he noticed a man behind the counter. Shaggy black hair…gray long-sleeved shirt…

He let out his breath, and sucked it back in, gasping a bit, which caused the man to turn around. It was a tense moment as the two of them looked on another over. It really was him.

"M…Mudsie," he stated, a rather stunned and awkward tone to his normally angelic voice.

The bassist was still behind the counter, staring at him, his eyes widened, "D," he replied stupidly. The stood this way for another second or so before 2D quickly shoved his hands behind his back, removing the small golden ring he'd had on his finger. He didn't want Murdoc to see it.

"'Ello," he said as he quickly shoved the ring into his pocket.

"Hey," Murdoc replied, scratching the back of his head, "wot the fuck'r you doin' 'ere?"

_Oh fuck…_

"Erm…nuffink…uh…well, I jus' actually was thinkin' 'bout Russ an' all an' I knew his studio was here so, uh…yea…" he stumbled, trying to think of a reason better than the truth. He hated to lie, but not nearly as much as he would've hated telling the truth.

"Oh," the bassist stated, still completely shocked that D was actually there, "Russ ain't 'ere, Dullard. Ya picked a shitty ass day ta come visit 'im. He's sick as fuck right now."

"Oh," 2D responded, scratching the back of his head, "well, erm…are you the only one workin' then?"

"No. We got some interns 'ere. Why?" He asked, a rather snotty tone to his voice. He was frustrated that he hadn't been prepared for the possibility of D showing up.

"Oh…uh…well…erm…"

"Spit it out then," Murdoc demanded, his irritation growing.

"Well, I mean, wouldja like ta grab a bite ta eat then? I didn't know ya'd be 'ere but I'm glad ta see ya," he asked, absent-mindedly putting his hand into his pocket to fiddle with his ring.

"Sure, woteva," the Satanist responded, grumbling a bit. He didn't want to seem overly eager, although he was, "lemme jus' let those idiot interns know that if they fuck anyfin' up while I'm gone I'm gonna kill them."

D nodded as he watched bassist head into the back of the store. He looked around the studio, feeling rather awkward. What the hell was he doing? Was he going to take him out and break the news to him in public? In front of everyone? No…he couldn't do that. That wouldn't be fair. Fuck. He wasn't even sure if he had it in him to tell him at all. He hadn't been prepared for this situation in a million years. He'd never actually really thought he would ever see Murdoc again. He shut his eyes harshly as he put his hand to his head and rubbed. He was beginning to get a headache.

"Ye gettin' those damn headaches still, Dullard?" Murdoc asked, suddenly at the singer's side.

He opened his eyes, jumping a bit at his sudden company, "er…ye. I get 'em alla the time."

"Pop some of yer damn pills before we git somefin' then. I'm not in tha mood to listen to ya whine all afternoon," he demanded as he headed for the door.

The bassist let himself out and made no attempt to hold the door for his old friend, causing the singer to rush out behind him. He certainly wasn't going to do him any favors. How could he just fucking waltz back into his life? Sure, he hadn't actually _known_ that Murdoc was there, but he still found himself being very angry with him for it.

"Where d'ya wanna eat?" he asked.

"Erm, I dunno. Where eva you want," the singer responded. This was the dynamic the two of them had always had. He never made any decisions.

"I don't give a fuck. I'm not even hungry…le's jus' go to the bar then."

D nodded. He wasn't overly hungry either. He walked silently behind the Satanist, unsure of where exactly they were headed. He didn't really know what to say so he remained this way as they walked. Suddenly, the delightful ambience of the beach wasn't helping him like before.

"'ere…I went 'ere wit Russ before…it's awright," the bassist announced as they entered the atheist bar the bassist had gone to on the previous Christmas. It had sort become a hang out for him during his stay.

"K," D replied stupidly, following him into the bar.

They found themselves one of those round, elevated bar tables and sat on the stools around it.

"Hello Murdoc!" one of the waitresses chirped as she approached them. She was a rather large gothic looking woman. D wasn't sure why, but he found himself a bit jealous to see a young lady familiar with Murdoc. Of course, she definitely wasn't his type so he was certain they hadn't been sleeping together or anything, but he still felt a little jealous. Perhaps he was just frustrated that Murdoc had clearly been around long enough to make some acquaintances.

"I'll 'ave a Newcastle," he ordered.

"Sounds good…one Newcastle, and for you?" she questioned, turning her attention to the singer.

"Oh, uh, I'll 'ave the same, please and thank you," he requested, smiling softly at her.

"Okay, two Newcastles comin' right up," she announced before hurrying off. They weren't overly busy in the bar, but she sure as hell was running around like it was.

The singer sighed, putting his elbows on the table and leaning his head in his hands. A light hum of chatter hung in the air. There were probably only ten or so customers in the bar, but it was enough to provide some atmosphere along with some old Offspring tunes playing from the juke box.

"So…'ow long 'ave ya been here?" Murdoc questioned.

"Been livin' 'ere quite a long time actually," he responded, "you?"

"Jus' got here a few months ago."

D nodded, an awkward silence falling between the two of them. Murdoc watched him quietly. He looked rather down, and it was bothering him. He did look just as ravishing as always, though. His hair was falling into his eyes a bit and he had to fight the urge the brush it aside and tuck it safely behind his ear. He used to do that all of the time.

"Okay…so…ya asked me ta lunch…are we gonna fuckin' talk er jus' sit here like a couple a damn morons?" Murdoc demanded, wrenching over the fact that they were having such a long pause. It'd never been awkward between them…never.

"Sorry," D quickly apologized, though making no attempt to straighten himself up or anything. There was no sense of urgency to please the Satanist as there had once been. He really must've been distracted by something.

"Here are your beers, boys," the waitress stated as she dropped of two ice cold glasses filled with their desired beverages.

"Ta," D thanked graciously, smiling at her again. Sure, he straightened up for a stranger. Great.

"Ye," Murdoc grumbled as he took his.

The waitress smiled at them warmly before scurrying back behind the bar…boy she sure did seem busy.

"So," Murdoc began, taking a quick swig of his beer, "wot're you up to these days?"

D was sitting upright now, sliding his finger around the brim of the glass. He really didn't have the stomach for alcohol at the moment. However, he eventually did lift the it and have himself a drink; he hadn't wanted to foul up Murdoc's mood anymore than he already had.

"I've been…uh…well…doing nuffink…" he somewhat admitted. Really he hadn't, other than getting himself engaged and all.

Honestly, all he had been doing for the past few months was plan for the wedding. He'd met Lily's parents, picked out a cake, reception location…tons and tons of planning and family gatherings. It was very tiring.

"Nuffin'? Fuck, Dullard…I'd a fought you'd at least be doin' somefin!" he replied, a little irritated at his response. How the Hell could he be doing nothing?

D shrugged, unsure of what else to say on the matter.

"Well…are ya seein' anyone?" Murdoc pried, not wanting to sound as though it really mattered.

D felt his heart start to race.

"No," he spat out.

_Why did I say that?_

Murdoc nodded. That was a good thing.

"Well…then…shit," he answered, taking another swig of his beer, "that's fuckin' great!"

D felt a smile make its way across his face. It felt good to make Murdoc happy.

"Great? Why's it so great, then?" he asked, a little oblivious.

Murdoc rolled his eyes, "because, dumbass, that means I didn't come all the way out here for nuffin'!"

D simply blinked, struggling to process what that meant. The bassist sighed, irritated.

"Becos, D…I came over 'ere ta try an' salvage the band…well…wot's left of us. Fuck…I was so worried!" he admitted, "I mean…I fought maybe if you were wif someone that we couldn't make shit work, but, Satan, you're not so we can actually do this shit…"

D smiled. The thought of being with his band mates gave him enormous comfort, "ya fink?"

"Well…yea! Why the fuck not?" Murdoc asked, a little frustrated. Why wasn't he getting this?

"N…No reason," D stammered, "I jus'…well…it's good ta see ya. An'…it's good ta talk about this," he responded, not really wanting to commit, but not wanting to sound as such.

Murdoc smirked, leaning back in his chair a bit.

"Awright then!" he announced, taking another drink, "it's settled. We're gonna do this then, okay?"

D nodded.

"Hey, I gotta piss…I'll be right back..."

"Okay," the singer replied, blinking stupidly and looking as though he were still trying to sort things out. Murdoc ignored it though and headed towards the restrooms, completely thrilled.

Shit. What kind of a mess had he just thrown himself into? Well…maybe he really could get the band back together. Of course, there was no way to hide the fact that he was getting married in that situation…and he couldn't leave Lily…not after proposing to her. That would be a terrible thing to do; she really did love him. And he really did care for her but…fuck…Murdoc. He was so frustrated that he was here. However, more so, he was grateful. He'd missed him so much. He thought about him all of the time. Sometimes he even thought about him when he was fucking Lily just to get through it.

He leaned back in his chair and took a long chug of his beer, eyeing the door to the bathroom. There were enough people around…no one would notice.

He quickly got out of his chair and headed for the restroom. It was one of those restrooms that had two stalls in it, but for some reason had a lock on the outside door. Murdoc had just zipped himself up and was getting ready to leave when the singer had entered.

"Wot the fuck'r ya doin'?" he demanded.

"Shhhh," the singer instructed as he locked the door behind him, causing the bassist to back up a bit.

"D, wot the fuck'r ya…" The singer put his hands against the bassist's chest and pushed him into one of the stalls, "Hey! Come on…wot the fuck…!" the Satanist protested

"Shhhh," D insisted as he pushed him up against the wall and kissed him, forcing his tongue into the bassist's mouth. Murdoc moaned a bit, stunned, though instantly aroused. He responded with deep, passionate kisses, grabbing the singer's hair and tugging on it a bit. He'd always liked when he was a little rough.

D let out a relieved sigh as he allowed his lover to pull his head back just a bit, exposing his neck to him. He sucked on it gently, causing the singer to smile and breathe heavily.

He did this for just a few seconds before the singer shoved him back into the wall, kissing him again. They kissed, needy as though the other were going to run away, as D quickly un-did Murdoc's pants. He didn't really even bother to remove them. He simply pulled it out and started to go down on him. Murdoc breathed out heavily, putting his hand on the back of his head, though not guiding him. He always knew what to do. He gazed at the ceiling as he felt the singer's familiar tongue perform its old tricks on him. He started to roll his eyes back and closed them, amazed at how quickly he felt like he was going to orgasm.

"Stop, stop," he urged, pulling the singer back up and turning him around. D let out a cry, though not in protest. He was eager for it as Murdoc clumsily pulled his pants of and pushed him up against the wall, thrusting himself inside of him.

"Oh," he moaned, pushing his hands up against the wall. He was sweating and clawing his hands at the wall as he felt his lover deep inside of him. He'd wanted this for so long…

"Damnit, I fucking missed you," Murdoc somewhat whimpered as he continued to thrust, biting D's neck.

D didn't respond, simply continued to grunt and moan, starting to slap his hand onto the wall as though he couldn't stand anymore. Murdoc had reached his hand around to the front of his lover and stroked quickly. He wanted him to cum when he did. They continued this way for a few more seconds.

"I'm close already," he admitted between breathes. He could barely control himself.

"Okay, go," Murdoc allowed as he started to pick up the pace.

"Okay…okay…" The two of them panted before D started to let out a rather loud cry. The two of them shuddered harshly as Murdoc let out his final thrust.

"Fuck," the bassist panted as he rested his head on the singer's neck, still holding him against the wall. Both of them had their eyes closed as they struggled to catch their breath.

"I missed you too, Muds…"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

D slowly trudged towards the apartment he shared with his fiancée, dreading going inside. How could he face her after what he'd done? He'd never been a cheater; never. He had no idea how he was supposed to handle the situation. He'd lied to not just her, but Murdoc as well; what a right mess this was. He stood just outside the door for a moment, contemplating just running away from it all. No, he couldn't just abandon his life; not again.

The singer sighed deeply as he pulled his engagement ring out from his pocket, placing it safely back on his finger. He knew he couldn't tell her as well as he knew he couldn't leave her. He had to just bury it and try to forget; perhaps that would be the best way to go on.

His hand was shaking as he reached out and turned the doorknob, shoving himself into the door to open it. He really had to get that fixed.

"Hey Baby!" Lily greeted excitedly as he shut the door behind him.

She was in the kitchen and it smelled as though she was baking something sweet. She had on a pink apron over a white summer dress and flour sticking all over her fingers and face. He couldn't help but smile at the sight.

"'ello," he greeted warmly, reaching out his arms to give her a hug.

"Mmmmm, I missed you!" she cooed as she embraced him tightly, nuzzling her face into his chest. She noticed a hint of an unfamiliar cologne on him.

"Oh…you smell nice! Did you get a new cologne?" she asked, leaning back from him and wiping her hands on her apron.

"Oh…no…I jus' always smell nice," he somewhat joked. He felt his heart skip a beat; he must've picked up Murdoc's scent during their encounter.

Lily giggled a bit, completely oblivious. She hadn't known a thing about her fiancée and Murdoc; had it been a woman's scent she definitely would've been concerned.

"So, how did it go with Russel?" she asked as she returned to the kitchen, opening the oven to check on her dish. She was baking some cupcakes as a trial run for the wedding; she was rather good at making delicious, cute pastries so she was doing them herself rather than hiring someone she didn't know.

"It went fine," he lied. He wasn't going to mention the fact that he hadn't seen Russel, nor the fact that he had seen Murdoc. Nothing about the band. The less he had to remember to lie about the better, as he was pretty absent minded in the first place.

"Is he coming to the wedding?" she continued, completely focused as he peered into the oven. It was all just secondary talk to her and he knew it, which took some of the pressure off.

"'e said 'e has to see wot he's got goin' on and such that day. He's not sure wot's going on wif his artists an' everyfin'."

"Oh, that's a shame. Hopefully he can come," she said as she shut the oven again and looked up at him.

"You have flower on yer face," he pointed out, an awkward smile on his face. He was tired, he realized, as he took a seat on the couch.

"Oh, yeah…haha…sorry! I get to be a big mess when I do this," she admitted, grabbing a dish towel and wiping it over her face. She missed most of it, which amused the singer a bit.

"Whew…is it windy out?" she asked, noticing that, though her fiancée was very well dressed, his blue hair was a fright.

"No…not really…why?" he asked, completely oblivious to her observation.

"You're hair…it's a terrible mess!" she laughed, though feeling a bit of a pit forming in her stomach. What was up with him? He was a little off.

"Oh," he responded, lightly touching his hand to his head and rustling his hair, "I dunno."

She looked at him for a moment, trying to decide what was up. He wasn't nearly as talkative as he usually was. Maybe things hadn't gone as well with Russel as he was making it seem. She felt a bit of guilt as she realized she was only half way listening to his conversation with her.

"Hey…you know, if Russel doesn't want to come to our wedding, it's okay. Forget him if that's how he's going to be," she cooed as she walked over to the couch, sitting beside her lover and wrapping him in her arms, "we've got each other and that's all that matters."

He couldn't rid himself of the pit in his stomach as he listened to her trying to console him. She'd apparently caught on to the fact that something wasn't right; she just was wrong about what it was. He rested his head on her shoulder, "tanks, Love," he said, not wanting to discuss it any further. He didn't want to lie to her. He didn't want to talk about anything with her. He just wanted to disappear.

"I fink I'm gonna go an' lay down, if it's awright wif you," he sighed as he stood up. Lily looked up at him, a questioning look in her big blue eyes before she responded, somewhat dazed. It crushed him to see that look.

"Okay…"

He bent down and gave her a quick kiss on the lips before trudging down the hall to their bedroom. Lily sat, a little dumbfounded at his behavior. What was wrong with him? Was it Russel? Was it someone else? Why did he have some unfamiliar smell on him all of a sudden? Was he fixing himself up for someone else?

No, no, no…that wasn't the Stuart she knew, she thought as she shook her head. She was just being crazy; probably pre-wedding doubts. She forced herself to ignore everything as she heard the buzzer go off for her cupcakes.

…

"Hey, thanks for runnin' the shop for me today, Muds," Russel thanked as the Satanist entered their apartment. He was carrying a small white bag in his hand, his apartment keys jingling in the other as he shut the door behind him.

"Ye, ye," he grumbled as he put his keys into his pocket and walked over to the drummer.

Russel was sitting at the dinner table of their small kitchen, trying to get a little chicken noodle soup into his rumbling stomach. That was the worst part about being sick; not being able to eat!

"Man…I can't taste this soup. My nose is too stuffed up…what's the point of eating if I can't even taste it?" he whined, setting his spoon down and looking up at his friend, frustrated.

"Well…most people eat ta survive…not to jerk off to, fat ass," Murdoc replied setting the bag down in front of his room mate, "here are yer meds."

Russel shook his head. He knew it was Murdoc's way, but sometimes he wished he could just quit putting on such an act and have a nice conversation with him. He knew that was all it was, too; a big fucking act.

"Thanks," he sighed, opening up the bag and pulling out the antibiotics he'd been prescribed. He'd been pretty sick for about a week and had finally gotten himself to a doctor.

"So…guess wot 'appened ta me today," Murdoc began, wanting to tell the drummer of his encounter with D.

"What?" he asked, as he struggled to open the cap of his meds; he couldn't, "I'm famished," he said, a very whiney tone to his voice as he held out the medicine bottle towards Murdoc, closing his eyes and groaning. Murdoc rolled his eyes.

"Jesus H. Christ," he grunted as he disgustedly yanked the bottle from his friend's hand, opening it with ease and handing it back.

"Thank you!" Russel chirped, knowing it would irritate the bassist if he acted pleasant.

Murdoc just glared at him before the drummer spoke up again, "well…what happened to you then?" he urged, ignoring the situation.

Murdoc wanted to continue to glare, and he did for a few seconds before he decided that getting on with his story was more important. He sat down across from Russel and leaned back in his chair, looking a little thoughtful, much to the drummer's surprise.

"D came inta the shop," he said, a little matter-of-factly. He didn't want to seem as completely infatuated with 2D as he really was.

"What?" Russel blurted, completely focusing on the bassist, "why?"

"'e was lookin' fer you, I guess. Said he was 'thinkin' about the band' and such."

Murdoc was trying so hard to contain his excitement, continuing to say things as though they were unimportant. Of course, they both knew how he really felt.

"Wow…so what happened!" Russel continued, a very excited tone dominating his voice.

"Nuffin' much," the bassist stated, looking down at the table and rubbing one of his finger's across it, "I fink he's ready ta try an' git shit rollin' again, though."

"Well, shit!" Russel beamed, "that's fuckin' great! Goddamn…who'd a thought in a million years that old D would come waltzing up into my studio?" the drummer mused, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms. He felt a little better in his excitement.

Murdoc nodded, smiling a bit to himself. He was still a bit high off of the sex they'd just had. He could still feel every soft touch of 2D's faire skin; hear every breathy moan he let out and taste the sweet indulgence of his kiss. It was hard to be a rotten son of a bitch when he was feeling so…nostalgic.

"So…I guess you two are okay then?" Russel questioned, a careful air about his question. He wasn't sure what the situation was going to be between the two of them.

"Ye…ye," the bassist responded, seeming as though he were elsewhere.

Russel smiled, realizing that they must've had a bit of 'fun' together. This was all good news; no, fucking great news. For the first time in a long time, they both felt a little shimmer of hope.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

*Author's Note: Thank you to those of you been reading :) Also, I'm getting down to the heart of this thing finally. :D Murdoc and D are gonna get hot and heavy here now…so to those of you who have stuck this out, I thank you! Also, it's totally okay if y'all don't like Lily…she's supposed to be a little…er…in the way. Haha. Okay, now go on and read and if you're feeling nice, review :D :D :D *

"Oh, you're awake!" Lily chirped from the kitchen table. She was having her habitual morning cup of coffee. She looked rather charming with her blonde hair up in a messy bun, a light pink tank top and short, white pajama bottoms. However, D was not in the frame of mind to take notice.

"Ye, ye…I gotta git goin' though, Love…I'm sorry…" he stated as he quickly approached her and gave her a speedy kiss on the lips.

Lily watched in bewilderment as her fiancée carried a small keyboard under his left arm, grabbing his keys off of the kitchen counter with his right. He had smelled strongly of cologne, which had caught her off guard. She had heard him in the shower, but she hadn't expected him to be so…done up. His blue hair was disheveled, but she could tell carefully so, as well as having his black suit jacket, tight fitting red t-shirt, slim fitting jeans and black converse on. He was a vision, though she wasn't quite sure _why_ he'd put so much effort into his appearance; they weren't going anywhere.

"Well…where are you going?" she asked, her big blue eyes showing just a hint of stress, "we were supposed to pick out our wedding invitations today…you know off of that website I showed you…?"

"Oh, ye, ye…I remember…I can't today though, Lils. I'm awful sorry…it's jus' that Russ called me today an' told me they wanted ta try an' 'ave a band practice an' I really wanna go…c'n I go please?"

Lily blinked for a second, "well…of course you _can_ go. I can't tell you what to do…" she retorted, a rather frustrated tone to her voice. That was the first time D had ever heard that from her, and it caused him to hesitate for a second. She eyed him sternly as an awkward silence fell between the two of them. The singer fiddled with his keys nervously as she started to speak again, "why are you so dressed up? Where is this band practice? How long is it?"

Shit…she was acting like she was his mother. He felt a little frustration boiling up in his stomach.

"Becos…I 'aven't played wif them in a while an' I wanted ta be presentable!" he replied, a little high pitched, "an' it's at Russel's studio over by tha shore an' it'll be 's long as it takes…I dunno…Why ya askin' me so many questions?"

Lily swallowed, struggling to get a grip on herself. Everything he was saying sounded perfectly reasonable, but she couldn't get rid of that nagging feeling she had. Something was wrong.

"I…I'm sorry, Stu," she apologized, lowering her voice. She sounded more like herself now, and D felt himself start to calm down as well. He could tell he had been a little careless with her.

"No," he sighed, setting his keyboard down on the floor and walking over to her, allowing her to rest her head on his chest, "I'm sorry. I was jus' in a hurry. I didn't mean ta be rude."

"You weren't. It's okay. I guess I'm just freaking out a little about all of this wedding planning I have to do," she sighed, a forgiving smile on her face as she gazed up at him. He returned the smile, ignoring the sick he felt in his stomach. It was horrible to make her feel guilty when he was the one who was about to screw around on her.

"So, is it okay wif you if I go? I won' go if ya don' want me to," he offered.

"No, no…go ahead. I think it's wonderful that you're talking to…oh hey…you said they," she suddenly realized, pulling herself back a bit and looking at the singer expectantly.

"Oh, er, yea…Muds is here, too. 'e's stayin' wif Russ," he explained, a little frustrated that he'd forgotten to just say Russel wanted to practice.

"Oh!" she responded, a wide smile across her face, "that's awesome, D. I'm so glad."

He was little taken aback by her enthusiasm, "ye. I'm pretty excited…I 'aven't played wif them in a real long time," he replied, a bit of enthusiasm creeping into his voice. As much as he was excited about continuing his affair with Murdoc, he really was genuinely excited about seeing Russel and playing. It wasn't a lie he'd told her; they really were going to have a band practice.

"Okay, well, I don't want to hold you up. Go ahead and meet them. If you want maybe later I'll stop by and bring you guys some snacks or something?"

2D felt his stomach drop, "uh…no, no. Tha's okay. You don' 'ave ta do that. I 'preciate it an' all…it's jus'…uh…well, it's our first time togeva in a long time an' I dunno if they'd like any interruptions an' all, ya know?"

Lily nodded, a little confused. She really wasn't sure how to handle dating a musician; she should've thought about that before she engaged herself to one.

"Oh," she replied, not bothering to mask her confusion. D was aware that his lies sounded completely ludicrous, but he chose to ignore it for the moment. He'd work on something better when he had more time. He really was running late for the band practice. He hurriedly gathered his keyboard up off of the floor and ran over to his fiancée, giving her another quick peck goodbye before disappearing out the door, leaving her to sit in silent turmoil.

He breathed out, relieved to have exited that stifled apartment. He had to get away from her and have some time to himself. He started to somewhat jog over to their shared vehicle. He had cleaned it up since they'd been living together; he couldn't stand to drive around in the way that Lily had.

The singer sighed to himself as he put his beloved instrument into the backseat carefully before loading himself into the front seat and buckling up. The messiness had been one thing that really bothered him about her. No matter where she went she was like a giant path of destruction. It was like she found it impossible to _ever _clean up after herself. It wasn't even like D was the neatest person on the planet, but he had at least had enough motivation to pick up dishes after himself and such.

He shook his head as he started the car and exited the parking lot to their complex. He was entirely frustrated as he realized that he felt a little trapped. He'd never had someone questioning what he was doing all the time or wanting him to be home every second he had available. Murdoc was never like that with him; he'd always trusted him and allowed him to do his own thing. Of course, that was probably easier seeing as, not only was he a man, he was also a musician. He understood 2D on levels that Lily simply could not, and it wasn't even due to any fault of her own; she was simply ignorant of the lifestyle D had led before the two of them had become an item.

None of that made it any easier though. It was getting to the point where, day by day, all of the little things that had irritated him about her were just boiling over. The girlie body sprays and shit all over his bathroom and dresser; the clothes strewn about the floor rather than tossed two feet further into the hamper; the nagging; the constant need for attention; the questioning; the endless stream of boring, monotonous, familiar sex. Yes, he was starting to lose his mind. The worst thing about her though, despite all of those little imperfections, was the fact that she didn't understand his need for music. She never allowed him any alone time to work on melodies. She'd packed his keyboards up into a closet to "make room for more important things". She hadn't even so much as bothered to listen to any of the music he'd made for the Gorillaz. The _only _thing musically related that she _ever_ allowed was for him to sing along with, of all things, the music _she_ liked to listen to.

The more he thought about it, really, the more he realized that she was more domineering than he'd noticed. He'd let her walk all over him because she wasn't very aggressive about it. It had all happened very slowly and subtly, but she had conquered his life and made it her own. He was hers…he was literally a piece of her property in her eyes and he knew it.

The angelic singer gritted his teeth somewhat as he though about it. How had he let himself get taken over like this? Murdoc would've never done this. Murdoc had always loved him just the way he was. He'd even told him so. The singer felt his heart start to calm itself as he thought about it. The moment that it had all been made so clear…

…

_ "Oi…lookit! Lookit, Muds!" the singer chirped. They were on a rather small whale watching boat, looking out over the side. Russel was down in the small restaurant they'd made available to their customers while Noodle hopped up and down up at the front, drinking in every detail the ocean had to offer._

_ "Wot, wot issit? Christ, Dullard," Murdoc grumbled as his band mate grabbed onto his coat and tugged, trying to get his attention. Despite his nasty demeanor, he did go ahead and have a look._

_ "It's a whale! It's a whale!" D shouted, pointing. For some reason, whales made him a little nervous; though when he was with Murdoc, he found himself able to actually watch them. That had been the whole point of the trip, really; Murdoc wanted him to get over his ridiculous fear._

_ "Ye, I see it," he muttered, taking a drag of a cigarette he'd lit himself just moments earlier._

_ D smiled as he watched, his eyes squinched up from the wind. The boat was moving rather fast, so ice cold blasts of watery air were constantly slapping their faces. Murdoc noticed this and instinctively opened up his green jacket and pulled the singer in close to his body, wrapping the jacket around his petite body. D grinned up at him, looking sort of childish._

_ "I'm not scared," he said, rather proud of himself._

_ "Todja Faceache. There ain't nuffin' ta be scared of."_

_ D smirked some more and nuzzled up to Murdoc. No one else was on the boat besides the band and the captain, who couldn't see them, so the two of them felt perfectly comfortable to be affectionate with one another. A moment of silence fell between them as Murdoc held the singer close to his chest, protecting him. He of course was very nonchalant about it as he took some more drags off of his stoge._

_ "Ya know why yer not scared?" Murdoc suddenly questioned, looking down at his friend._

_ D looked up at him, completely confused and curious, which made the bassist all the more delighted about what he was going to say, "Why's tha' Muds?"_

_ "Because," he began, squeezing the singer a little closer so that he could whisper into his ear, "I love ya an' I ain't neva gonna let nuffin' bad 'appen to ya."_

_ D felt his face get hot as he realized what had just been said to him. His heart started to pound and he felt a rush of happiness, "I love ya too, Muds," he replied, smiling with his wide, toothy grin._

_ "I know," Murdoc replied, taking a final drag off of his cigarette and flicking it out into the ocean. Nothing else was said between the two of them; that was more than enough._

…

The singer smiled to himself as he pulled into the parking lot behind the studio. He got out of the car and unloaded his instrument before heading towards the entrance of the studio. He felt a little giddy as he quickly rushed to the entrance. The sign outside read closed, but he knew this was because of their scheduled practice. He knocked before eagerly stepping back a bit, his nerves racing as he wondered who would be answering the door.

"HEY!" Russel's booming voice shouted as he opened up the door, scooping the singer up into his giant arms. He was literally enthralled to see him.

The zombie boy had wanted to say something back, but found himself unable to breathe in the drummer's rather firm embrace. He struggled to choke out a hello, but could only manage a few sputters before his ghostly friend realized that he was choking him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he quickly apologized, setting D down. The blue-haired singer regained his breath and his composure quickly, though, smiling brightly at his old band mate.

"'S okay! Hiya! I missed you!" He was finally able to greet, leaning in and giving him a softer hug. It felt nice to be so close to what he felt was most assuredly his past.

"Well, c'm on in!" Russel stated excitedly, stepping aside for his friend. D walked inside, greeted with the studio's somewhat familiar surroundings. He still didn't quite feel at home at this place, but he figured it wouldn't be long.

"Okay, c'm on we're gonna go in the back with the SSL," Russel instructed as he put his hand on the singer's shoulder and guided him back behind the reception desk. It was a long hallway with many doors along the side. He assumed most of those were recording rooms. He continued down the hall for just a few more seconds when they reached the end and made a right turn into a small room with a giant SSL on the back wall. Beside that there was a glass window that revealed a recording room with a set of drums.

"Wow, 's nice,' D marveled as he took in his surroundings. It was just like a real professional studio. Of course, he supposed that was what Russel had going on for himself now. He'd been producing here in California ever since Kong had burnt down.

"Thanks," he said graciously before turning around and leaning out into the hall, "HEY MUDS! HE'S HERE! GET YOUR CRACKA ASS IN HERE!"

He turned back around and smiled at the singer, who had an awkward look on his face. He knew Muds would be pissed about, not only being demanded to do something, but being called a nasty name. However, despite the grumbling he knew was approaching, he still felt those familiar butterflies welling up in his stomach. He couldn't wait to see the Satanist.

He held his breath as he heard the clacking of Murdoc's boots and the endless stream of curses that were so classically attached to him. He smiled as his lover entered the room, not looking overly thrilled to see him. Of course, he knew that he was. He'd always acted like that in front of the band, even though they were fully aware of their relationship.

"Hi, Muds," D greeted, barely able to contain his happiness.

Murdoc just nodded his head and sat down on a small, black leather couch that was in the right hand corner of the room, "ye, 'ey, D."

A moment of silence passed between the three of them before Russel clapped his hands together once, commanding their attention, which he had.

"Okay…so…we ready to play or what?" he asked, brimming with anticipation.

"Yes!" D chirped, quickly setting up his keyboard on an empty stand they'd put in the room for him. Actually, Murdoc had taken the liberty of setting it up for him, which didn't go unnoticed by Russel. He shot Murdoc a taunting glance as the bassist realized that his small display of affection had been caught. He just scowled at him as he went ahead and got his bass ready to play. Russel grabbed a small remote off of the flat portion of the left side of the SSL and clicked a button on it that allowed the glass separating the two rooms to slide upwards, conjoining them. The singer and bassist watched, somewhat amused as the rather large drummer struggled to get himself through the window. He hadn't thought about that when he'd designed the studios.

"Go on, Lard Ass. You c'n do it!" Murdoc mocked, chuckling to himself.

D couldn't even help but giggle a little bit as Russel wiggled around, trying to get himself through the window. It was really hard for him to keep his balance and just as he was about through he lost it and tumbled down to the floor on the other side, which caused Murdoc to erupt in laughter.

"Sweet Satan, Fat Ass!" He shouted as he bent over with laughter.

D put his hand over his mouth and struggled to withhold his laughter.

"Shut up you goddamned piece of old turd crust!" Russel shouted as he got himself up off of the ground, stomping his way over to his drumset. That was it, D couldn't hold in his laughter any longer. He burst out with laughter as the bassist's grin went away. He had now been insulted, so he went ahead and resumed his usual scowling.

"Shut it Face Ache…'s time ta practice," he demanded, smacking the singer's arm.

D put his hand over his mouth as if he could hold in his laughter and swallowed hard, though still smiling at the bassist. Murdoc found it very endearing and allowed himself to stare at D for just a few brief moments.

"Alright, love birds…come on!" Russel shouted from the other room. He was safely seated on his drum throne, holding the sticks eagerly.

Murdoc shot him a dirty look as D smiled softly at him. They were such an odd couple, yet the drummer couldn't picture either of them with anyone else. In a weird way, they were made for each other.

"A'right, a'right…wot're we gonna play, then?" Murdoc demanded, trying to end the fluffy moment the three of them were having. He couldn't handle it.

"Clint Eastwood!" 2D suggested, a huge, accomplished smile on his face. Before Murdoc could reply, Russel hit the drums…BISH BOSH BISH BOSH!

The two of them joined in instinctively, not missing a beat.

"I ain't happy, I'm feelin' glad…" 2D's lovely voice started to sing.

Murdoc couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment as he watched the three of them play together. Of course, they were missing their guitarist but…for the moment…this really felt like home. He strummed away carelessly at his bass as the singer methodically stretched his fingers out across the keyboard. He looked so peaceful when he played; he always had. He couldn't imagine what it must've been like for him to be away from this band; they all needed each other.

As the bassist was marveling at the singer, Russel watched them both from the other room. They were quite the sight. D was closing his eyes, lost in his own world and Murdoc was there to make sure he was safe. That was how it had always been between the two of them. As much as Murdoc could be a real son-of-a-bitch to him, even once they were together, he really did care for him and it was very obvious. He was always watching; always waiting; always guiding; always protecting. It warmed his heart to watch them both.

And so this was the way the rest of the day had went. They didn't even take any breaks; they all simply played until they hadn't the energy to go any longer. It was eleven o' clock at night before, finally, Russel stopped. He had headed on back to his apartment while D and Murdoc locked up the shop and headed out to the beach. They weren't allowed to be out there so late at night, but no one had ever bothered Murdoc before, so they'd gone. They were sitting near a large mountain of old rocks, isolated from anyone's view. It was nice to be alone. It was the first time they had been in years.

"That was real fun," 2D admitted as he leaned back, propped up by his elbows. Murdoc was laying the same way beside him, a cigarette hanging lazily in his mouth.

"Ye…was nice," he replied, absent-mindedly looking out at the ocean. It was so relaxing to listen to the sounds it made.

A long moment of silence passed between the two of them before D spoke again, still very calm, "It's nice to be jus' us. I…I really missed this, Muds."

Murdoc finally took his eyes off of the sea, put out his cigarette and focused them on the singer's face. It was dark, but the moon was bright enough to light up his face a bit. He looked perfect as his porcelain skin shined. He smiled as he rolled over onto his side and touched his face to the singer's cheek.

"I missed you too, Stu," he sighed, wrapping his arm around his lover's waste. The blue haired zombie responded by touching his hand to Murdoc's face and brushing his hair back a bit, causing the bassist to lift up his head a bit. His eyes were closed as D lowered his lips to his, softly kissing him. They continued to kiss slowly and carefully as D gently rolled Murdoc onto his back, resting his body on top of his.

"I love you, Murdoc," he said softly as he lifted his head, gazing lovingly at his friend.

"I love you too, Stu-Pot," he replied, reaching his hand up to the singer's face and pulling him back down for another kiss. D moaned softly every so often as he began to move his body up and down rhythmically atop Murdoc's. The bassist responded by pushing his hips up into the blue-haired angel's.

"I mean it…" the singer breathed out softly, "I love you…I love you so much," he started to undo the Satanist's pants, reaching in and grabbing him, though not overly hard or eager. It was all very slow and passionate.

Murdoc didn't reply as his mouth was too busy kissing the singer's neck gently. It was rare that he was this affectionate, and the singer fully wanted to experience him. He rubbed up and down on the bassist slowly, causing him to moan a bit with pleasure every so often. He gazed lustfully at the Satanist as he closed his eyes and leaned his head back into the sand.

D continued to stroke him for a few more moments before slowly removing his pants. Once they were off, Murdoc reached up and undid 2D's, pulling them down just enough to expose him.

"C'm 'ere…" Murdoc whispered softly as the singer got back on top of him, gently pushing himself inside of the bassist. Murdoc pushed his head back further into the sand and let out a very soft moan. It was so, _so _rare that he had sex with him like this. D felt almost like he was going to cry as he leaned in for more kisses, gently rocking his hips back and forth, pleasuring the bassist lovingly. It was as though they were the only two people in the universe as they slowly rocked their hips together, breathing in sharply and letting it out slowly. It was dark and sandy, but they could still see each other. D ran his finger's through Murdoc's hair as Murdoc held his onto the singer's waste, somewhat guiding the rhythm of his sex. It was soft, yet incredibly intense as they continued this way until they both climaxed. It wasn't loud or violent the way that so many times were. Rather, it was very soft, gentle and quiet as they breathed into one another's ears, shuddering just a bit as it happened. They laid as they'd fallen together in the sand until they fell asleep, both of them feeling more content than they had in years.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

*Author's Note: Thank you for the lovely review :) I'm so glad I've got a few people reading this story…it's a little different from my others so I'm pretty excited about it. The situation is getting more…tangled…This chapter is short, but very essential! hope you enjoy! Read and review!*

The Earthy, bold coffee warmly made it's way down his throat before settling comfortably in his large stomach. He was walking casually to work, holding his beverage and a folded up newspaper; he'd planned to get in early and have a bit of time to himself. He'd woken up alone in the apartment, which was splendid. Not only did it allow him to waltz around his abode nude for the first time since Murdoc had moved in, it also meant that Murdoc and 2D had spent the night together, which was fantastic. Of course, it was none of his business, but it made him happy that they had each other; he knew they both must've been lonely during their time apart.

The ghostly drummer squinted his eyes a bit as he approached the studio; there was a young blonde woman standing just outside. She was super cute and he found himself doing the once over as he approached her. He looked fresh enough.

"Hello there…was there something I could help you with?" he asked as he reached the front of his studio. She looked very distressed.

"Hi, uh…Russel, right?" she greeted, an unsure look upon her face.

"Yes, I sure am," he replied, offering her a warm smile. She sighed, seeming a bit relieved.

"Hi, Russel. It's nice to meet you…my name is Lily…I'm 2D's fiancée…?" she explained, trying to see if he had any clue who she was.

The drummer couldn't help but let his jaw drop. Fiancée! How could D have a fiancée and not have told him? Did Murdoc know? Had he been wrong in his assumption that they were rekindling their romance? He swallowed hard as he struggled to regain his composure and get a sense of just what was happening.

"Uh…yes, hello there, Lily. What is it I can do for you?" he stated, an air of caution about him. He wasn't sure what he should say to this woman, seeing as D had certainly kept her from their knowledge for a reason.

"I was wondering if Stuart stayed with you last night…? He didn't come home and I've been worried sick all night," she explained, looking as though she were about to burst into tears. She was obviously very genuine in her concern.

The drummer thought to himself for a moment. So…this woman was D's fiancée…she didn't know where he'd stayed last night…Murdoc hadn't come home either…which led him to the conclusion that he and Murdoc definitely had spent the night together. He also recalled Murdoc having said that D told him he was single…it was all so obvious. D was having an affair with Murdoc, and he was starting to realize that no one but him was aware of it…not even Murdoc.

"Uh…yeah," he replied, sounding a little distracted, "yeah we all went out for some drinks after our practice and he wasn't able to drive home, so we let him sleep at our place," Russel offered up, not wanting to be the one to out 2D; it simply wasn't his place. Although, he felt like a disgusting person as he lied to this adorable young lady before him.

"Oh…okay…well…as long as he's okay. I guess I'll go then…uh…I'm sorry to have bothered you," Lily stammered as she started to back up, a very troubled look on her face. Russel felt a small pang of sympathy.

Lily couldn't understand it. If he wasn't up to anything, why not just give her a call and let her know where he was staying? Why hadn't he answered her dozens of calls throughout the night? There was something weird going on…between him getting so dressed up and the disappearance she was getting the feeling that he was seeing someone else. Not to mention Russel's explanation pretty much sounded like he'd pulled it out of his ass.

"It's okay," the drummer responded, watching rather intently as the girl turned away from him and walked away. She was clearly too caught up in her confusion to offer a goodbye. He sighed as he realized the situation he'd been put into; he didn't appreciate having to have the knowledge of D's deception. It was one thing that he was cheating on this woman, whom he was _engaged _to, but he was also, technically, cheating on Murdoc. He felt a bit of anger rise in his chest as he unlocked the shop and let himself inside. What a mess.

…

The singer's phone rang for what felt like the hundredth time as it slowly nudged him and his lover awake. He hadn't meant to fall asleep on the beach with Murdoc; and he knew just who was on the other line.

"Christ…answer yer phone," Murdoc protested, throwing his arm over his eyes to shut out the sun. He wasn't ready to be up, though he realized he was going to have to be. They couldn't just lay on the beach all day, as inviting as that sounded.

"Uh…I…uh…I been gettin' lotsa calls from telemarketers…I don' wanna answer it…"

Murdoc sat up and rolled his eyes, frustrated. He was definitely not the best morning person.

"Satan, Dullard…" he grumbled as he reached for the phone. The singer quickly pulled it out of his reach and hit the silent button. There was no way he was going to talk to Lily with Murdoc right next to him. The Satanist eyed him, a little confused.

"Wot'd ya do that fer?" he asked, feeling a little strange. D was acting funny; he'd never tried to keep something from him before.

"I…I dunno," D stammered, his black eyes widening with fear. He didn't want Murdoc to catch him. He didn't want Lily to catch him. He just flat out didn't want to be caught. Murdoc looked at him skeptically before shaking his head a bit. He didn't have the patience for D's antics this morning.

"Awright…woteva. Look…I'm gonna go ta tha studio…I gotta work t'day. Ya wanna hang around?" he asked as he stood up and brushed some of the sand off of his pants. He was covered from head to toe, so he figured he'd probably have to have a shower later. Damn.

"I'd love ta," he chirped quickly, though the bassist watched intently as his lover's smile faded slowly, "but I can't," he finally sighed, looking down at the sand. D was still sitting and he'd started trailing his finger around in the sand. Murdoc watched for a moment before crossing his arms and tapping his foot. He could sense something was up.

"Wot issit, Dullard?" he asked, staring the singer down a bit.

"Nuffin'…I jus' gotta git home. I gotta shower and stuff…" he struggled to explain. It sure was a lot harder to come up with an excuse for Murdoc; he knew him better than Lily.

"Don' lie ta me…I'm not fuckin' stupid," Murdoc demanded, a rather insulted tone to his voice. How dare Stu try and hide something from him! He'd never given him a reason in the world to lie.

D winced a bit, keeping his eyes on his finger as it halted in the sand. His mind was a blank. There was no excuse he could legitimately come up with, so…

"I don' feel good. I wanna go home…I need my meds," he sighed, knowing damn well that Murdoc wouldn't buy it.

Murdoc continued to look at him before deciding he didn't want to squeeze whatever it was out. He had a feeling he, for one, wouldn't like it. Otherwise, he just flat out wasn't in the right mood to try and deal with D's shit, so he just shrugged and picked up his jacket. He'd taken it off during the night to try and prevent some of the sand from making its way onto his person.

"Awright, woteva. Go 'ome then. I'll see ya 'round?" he asked, though sounding completely indifferent to whatever it was D had to say.

"Yea," he replied, blinking stupidly as he watched Murdoc walk away from him. He hadn't even offered him a kiss. Of course, he knew it was because Murdoc was aware he was being lied to. He wasn't one to just hand out affection when it hadn't been properly earned. He sighed, lowering his shoulders and feeling like he was about to explode. He had to get this situation sorted out. He absolutely had to.

He felt his head start to pound as his phone rang once more. This time, however, when he'd looked at the caller ID, he was surprised to see that it wasn't Lily.

"'ello?" he asked, answering his call.

"D…it's Russ."

"Ye…I know," he replied, completely dumbfounded. Why was he calling so early?

"Your fiancée stopped by looking for you," the drummer's voice stated, a flat tone to his voice.

D felt his heart practically drop into his stomach.

"W…wot? Wot're ya talkin' about?" he questioned, though knowing he had no way around this.

"I mean just what I said," Russel replied, anger creeping into his voice. He was really in for it now.

The singer swallowed hard as he pulled his knees close to his chest and wrapped his free arm around them. He wanted to be as small as he possibly could.

"Russ…" he struggled to explain, though he was cut off quickly.

"I ain't gonna say shit. It's not my place…this is your cross to bare…but I'm telling you right now, you better handle it, or I'm done. I refuse to be a part of this band if you're going to fuck everything up, D…you understand me! I refuse to see you put Murdoc and yourself through this…not to mention this poor bitch you're engaged to!" he ranted for a moment.

D was silent, unsure of what to say. It was very rare that Russel would ever yell at him and he felt so ashamed that he was now.

"Fuck," he heard Russel say softly, "Muds is outside…I'm gonna go now. Fix this shit D. Now."

And with that, he heard the drummer hang up, leaving him to himself. Shit…he really was in a mess now. He hadn't meant for this to happen. He hadn't meant to lie to everyone…he hadn't even really realized just how bad he was hurting everybody. He'd been selfish. He'd seen Murdoc and been unable to contain his lust for him. He'd given in, and it didn't matter how anyone else was affected. How could he have been that way? That wasn't the kind of person he was! He had always been very generous and thoughtful. He hugged his knees closer to his chest as he felt tears start to flow steadily out of his eyes. He hadn't really let the situation hit him yet, and he felt like he was going to throw up as he cried heavily, his shoulders trembling. Before he knew it, he'd began dialing his phone.

"Hello?" Lily's voice answered, sounding rather urgent. She'd been dying to hear from D.

"We need ta talk."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

*Author's Note: Thanks again for the lovely reviews. :) I'm so glad you guys are enjoying this story as much as I'm enjoying writing it. I'm already starting on chapter 10 right after I post this hehe. This chapter is pretty short but, again, necessary to the story.*

Lily sat at their kitchen table, nervously tapping her foot. She'd been on her way back home when her fiancée had called her to tell her they needed to discuss something. She had the most horrible pit in her stomach as she let her mind dance around with thoughts of all the worst. She'd been suspicious ever since 2D's first reunion with Russel. Something about him had just been off.

She slowly ran her finger across the rim of a cup of coffee she'd made herself upon her return home. She'd only been there about ten minutes or so, and she knew that her fiancée would be walking through the door at any moment with the news. It made her want to throw up.

Suddenly, she heard him burst through the door, shoving it open as they always had to do. Her blue eyes widened as she turned around in her chair to see him. He was a fright. His blue hair was all over the place and his outfit that had looked so nice the day prior was covered with dirt. He looked as though he'd fallen asleep out on the street.

"Hey, Sweetie," she greeted, though there was no warmth in her voice. She simply sounded frightened.

"Hi," he replied half-heartedly. He really didn't want to have this conversation.

Lily swallowed softly as she watched him, not wanting to bring up whatever the issue was. He looked exhausted as he trudged into their kitchen to pour himself a cup of coffee. He figured he should get a little something in his stomach before their discussion; perhaps it would help with the aching. He doubted it, though.

He poured himself his cup and went ahead and sat down across from Lily, not bothering to make any eye contact. They sat this way for a few awkward seconds, neither of them wanting to address the situation. They both found themselves pondering the idea of ignoring it all together.

"You know," Lily softly began, clutching her coffee cup as though it provided her some support. D slowly looked up at her, a pained look on his face. She swallowed harshly, "whatever this is…maybe we can just…forget about it?" she offered.

The singer sighed deeply, looking off to the side. He seemed as though he were in a trance and Lily found the pit in her stomach deepening.

"No," he finally replied, "we 'ave ta talk about this."

Lily looked down at the table, wishing that this wasn't happening. She knew it was going to be terrible; she could sense it.

"Okay then…w-what is it?" she questioned, looking back up at her fiancée.

D stared at her for a moment, struggling to find the right words. There really weren't any.

"I…I been seein' someone else," he stated, an awkward air about him. It sounded so horrible to say it out loud.

He watched silently as her face went from shock to absolute defeat. She was crushed. He felt sick as he started to see tears fall down her cheeks. Her normally beautiful face was now slightly reddened as mascara trailed down with her tears. He struggled to hold back his own tears as she started to speak.

"Who?" She questioned, sounding completely pathetic. This was absolutely horrible.

He looked back down at the table, feeling completely ashamed. He didn't want to tell her.

"Murdoc."

"The…the bassist from your band?" she asked, her voice getting a little higher. She was starting to shake a bit. He put his hands in his lap and drooped his shoulders. He wanted to disappear.

"Ye," he answered, not knowing what else to say.

"So…you've been cheating on me with a man?" she clarified.

"Ye."

Another long moment of silence passed between the two of them before she spoke once more.

"Have you been sleeping together?" she asked, feeling like she was going to throw up.

D fidgeted a bit in his seat, looking up as tears somewhat welled up in his eyes. He still managed to hold them back.

"Yes."

He sniffled a bit as he looked to her. Tears were pouring down her beautiful face as she really started to let it out. She was whimpering and wiping fiercely at her face, ashamed that she was falling apart so much before him. How had this happened? How did she not see?

"Were you guys together before you and me?" she asked, dreading the answer. Somehow it felt as though it would make it worse if they'd had a relationship before her.

D nodded yes at her, twiddling his thumbs in his lap. He was staring at the cup of coffee he had on the table, not wanting to watch her in so much pain.

She shut her eyes forcefully as tears continued to flow. She felt like she had to throw up.

"Are you leaving me?" she finally asked. This was really all she needed to know, "because I can get past this if you want to go forward."

The singer abruptly looked up at her, an incredibly confused look on his face. She would do that for him? She loved him enough to push it aside? He pondered on it for a moment, wanting nothing more than to take her pain away at that moment. Of course, the more logical part of himself knew that there was no way for them to work through it. He was too in love with Murdoc. Now that they were together again he knew he would never be able to walk away; he was powerless when it came to his Satanic love.

"Yes. I can't be wif you," he admitted, tears now starting to trickle down his own face.

She shut her eyes once more, leaning over and clutching her stomach. He could tell that she was actually in physical pain over it and it made him want to die. How could he have done this to her? She'd done nothing to deserve it. Sure, she had her imperfections, but she'd never really done anything to deserve what he was doing to her now. He put his hand over his eyes and allowed a few more tears to fall. He felt very sympathetic towards her.

"I think…" she choked out between her sobs, "I think you should go…"

He watched her for a moment, getting control of his own emotions before standing up slowly.

"Okay," he answered simply. He didn't look back as he exited the apartment they'd shared together. He could never look back.

…

"Who wos that?" Murdoc asked as he sat before the SSL. They were waiting on their first client of the day, and he was running about 30 minutes late. He was about 10 minutes away from calling him up and telling him to fuck off and never return to their studio; the nerve of some people. Of course, he knew Russel would beat the shit out of him if he dared to be nasty with any of his customers. He had to run a business.

"Who was who?" Russel retorted, somewhat unsure of what he meant and somewhat terrified of what he meant.

"I mean, who wos that blondie you were talkin' to earlier? I wos walkin' back from tha beach when you were talkin'."

Russel felt a large pit form in his stomach as he realized what Murdoc had meant. Had he heard them talking? He supposed not by the calm demeanor the bassist had about him. There was no way he'd be so collected had he known D was engaged. He felt a little sick as he struggled to answer.

"Just a prospective artist," he lied, "she was asking me about my rates."

"Oh…she wos cute. Shoulda asked 'er out," he said casually, leaning over the SSL and playing with the faders. He was bored out of his fucking mind.

"Uh…er…I don't mix business with pleasure," he stammered.

"Pffffffttttt," Murdoc spat out before chuckling a bit, "well _that's _the biggest load of shit I've eva heard!"

Russel sort of laughed a bit with him, acting as though it were a joke. Murdoc seemed to be oblivious to the fact that he really was trying to hide something from him. Goddamn, he really didn't like this situation.

"Sounds like yer customer's 'ere," Murdoc grumbled as they both noticed the sound of their front door.

Russel sighed a bit before heading out of the SSL room, a little surprised to see 2D standing in front of the door. He had clearly been crying because his cheeks were tear stained.

"What's going on D?" He asked quietly as he made his way to the side of his friend, concerned.

"C'n we take a walk real quick?" he whispered, not wanting Murdoc to be aware of his presence just yet.

"Uh, yeah…hang on, k?"

The singer nodded as he watched Russel head back to the SSL room. Murdoc was still fiddling with the faders when he entered.

"Hey, I'm gonna go for a walk real quick. It was nothin'…just a bum. I'm bored though so I'm gonna get some air…keep an eye on things?"

Murdoc rolled his eyes, "woteva."

Russel nodded, ignoring the Satanist's obvious dissatisfaction, and headed back out to the front, grabbing D's arm as he passed him. He dragged the singer out of his studio quietly. They continued on this way for a few minutes, getting what felt like a safe distance between them and Murdoc.

"So…what's up?" Russel finally asked.

He had let go of the singer's arm. The blue-haired angel sighed a bit before pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

"Ya want one?" he asked, holding the pack out for Russel. The drummer took one and pulled a lighter out of his own pocket to light it. They smoked for just a few seconds before D began to explain.

"I told her."

Russel nodded, "it's over?"

"Ye…ye, it's ova," D sighed, feeling the all-too-familiar pang of guilt in his stomach. It still felt terrible.

"How was it?" the drummer questioned out of curiosity.

"It was awful," D admitted, tears beginning to nag at him once more. Russel had heard a bit of wavering in his voice and realized his friend was on the verge of crying. He felt a very small amount of sympathy.

"Hey…man, it's okay. I'm pretty sure we've all been there. I mean…you're only human. You made a mistake," he reassured, patting his friend's back affectionately. He really didn't want him to beat himself up too much over it, "the thing that matters is that you made your choice, and I believe you made the right one."

D nodded, "I know I made tha right choice. It was neva really a choice. I've always known it's me an' Muds against tha world…it was jus'…it was hard ta hurt her," he admitted, taking a drag off of his cigarette. The drummer scratched the back of his head, struggling to figure out what else he should say. Before he could speak, however, D had started again, "wot should I do now?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…uh…do I keep this a secret still?"

Russel suddenly stopped walking, causing the singer to halt as well. He hadn't thought about that.

"Uh…I…I dunno," he admitted, scratching his head once more and taking a hit of his cigarette, "I mean…it's really not good to be hiding things from someone…let alone the person you love."

D looked at him intently, "so…I should tell 'im?"

Russel let out a deep sigh as he looked up at the sky listlessly. Shit.

"I…I just don't know D…I'm sorry. It's not my place to say."

The singer nodded, a disheartened look on his face. He was lost.

"Well…don' say nuffin' 'til I decide…k?" he asked, realizing that he couldn't decide that quickly what he had to do.

"I won't, D…I promise."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

*Author's Note: Thanks for reading! Lyrics in the beginning DO NOT BELONG TO ME! They are from "Love The Way You Lie" by Eminem and Rihanna, so don't remove my story because I gave them credit people who monitor the website :D This chapter is a little short, but it is NOT the last chapter. I'm getting into the last little bit here…I think you'll like where it goes :) Otherwise…enjoy!*

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?_

_Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts…_

_Just gonna stand there and hear me cry?_

_Well that's alright because I love the way you lie_

_I love the way you lie…_

The sun was setting and the sky was a rather dim orange as the two of them stood silently on the edge of the ocean. Murdoc's eyes seemed rather distant; they'd been this way for the past few months. It was as though he knew something wasn't right. 2D gazed upon him, ignoring the perfectly marvelous sunset that was taking place before them. Murdoc was the only thing he wanted to see.

"Wot issit, D?" the Satanist finally asked, catching the singer off guard a bit.

"Wot d'ya mean?"

Murdoc shut his eyes and winced a bit, frustrated as all hell, "you know wot I mean. There's been this…well…things are different between you an' I an' I wanna know why."

D lowered his eyes to the ground. He was very much aware of what Murdoc was referring to. There was this enormous distance between the two of them since they'd gotten back together. The singer had been struggling with so many different things. For one, he had a tremendous amount of guilt over what he'd done to Lily and he couldn't wake up a single day without thinking about it. It had lessened over time of course, it had been six months after all; but still, it bothered him. Other than that he had to deal with the fact that he was keeping the entire ordeal a secret from his lover. How could he be as close as they once were while he was holding something back from him? It was nearly impossible.

"I dunno, Muds," D replied before letting out a deep sigh, "maybe we're jus' different people now."

The Satanist bowed his head, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He looked incredibly frustrated.

"I want this ta work," he admitted, allowing a hint of vulnerability to show. It was rare that he was like this, and it really made D aware of the gravity of the situation. He was losing him.

"Me too."

"Fer Chris' sake, Stuart…I sailed across the ocean to git to ya…I…fuck…why issit like this? We been through so much shit…why issit like this? I feel like we can't even talk ta each ova anymore."

D felt a stab of guilt in his chest. He also felt incredibly fearful. He really was pushing Murdoc away…he couldn't lose him. Not after everything that had taken place. He had to make this right. Before he could even realize what was happening, the words forced themselves out his mouth.

"I was seeing someone when you came back."

Murdoc jolted his head up and made eye contact with the singer. His face was unreadable.

"Wot?" was all he could manage to come up with. He was shocked.

"I…I'm sorry Muds. I was…"

"Was it serious?" he cut the singer off, wanting every detail.

D swallowed hard and opened his mouth a bit to reply, but shut it quickly, not wanting to explain. He shouldn't have said anything.

"Was. It. Serious?" Murdoc drew out each word, showing that he was not going to let it go.

D was fiddling with his hands and looking at the ground, ashamed, as he responded, "we were engaged."

Murdoc widened his eyes and threw his hands up over his head before letting them slap back to his legs, "well, fuck, D!"

D shut his eyes as he struggled to hold back tears. He just knew Murdoc was going to leave him.

"How long were ya wif us at the same time? Were ya fuckin' us both? Who wos it?"

D was shaking now, though still managing to keep himself from crying, "A few months or so. I dunno exactly 'ow long. Yes…I wos sleepin' wif both of ya. Her name was Lily…we were livin' togeva…tha's why I moved in wif you…I gave her tha apartment we 'ad togeva. I'm so sorry Muds…"

Murdoc just put his hands back into his pockets and stared, emotionless, out at the ocean. He felt so sick to his stomach; it was nearly unbearable.

D watched quietly as a tear fell down Murdoc's cheek. Murdoc never cried. He'd never seen him cry. Not even when Noodle had disappeared. He'd hurt him bad enough for him to, not only _cry_, but to cry right there in front of him.

"Don'…don' cry Muds. I'm so sorry…I didn't mean ta hurt anybody. It jus'…ya came back an' I wasn't expectin' it. I shoulda left her right away…but…it was hard fer me ta hurt somebody like tha'…an' I wound up hurtin' ya both even worse," finally, tears were starting to slowly make there way out of the singer's eyes. Murdoc had only allowed the one to fall.

The Satanist gritted his teeth, not wanting to hear about the singer's sympathy for the person he was cheating with.

"Listen ta me," he demanded as he got in D's face. The singer remained motionless as his lover began to display his jealousy, "you're mine. D'ya understand that…you're fucking mine!" he insisted pushing the singer back. They were beside a giant wall of black cliffs and D was now pushed against it, trembling with fear. Murdoc was about to lose control. He put his hands up over his face as Murdoc grabbed his shoulders.

"Stoppit…stoppit I'm not fuckin' gonna hit ya…stop," he demanded, forcing the singer's arms back down to his sides and holding them there. His eyes were burning with intensity as he put his face about an inch away from D's, "you're mine. You git this once…this _once_! You understand me? If this ever 'appens again…I'll…I'll…" he was struggling to imagine just what it was he would do. To be honest, he felt like hunting this Lily person down and killing her.

D was staring at him, wide eyed. Murdoc could see on his face that he was expecting a beating, so he let go of him, though not before giving him another little shove into the rocks.

"We're leaving in tha mornin'," Murdoc announced, "I can' be here anymore."

And with that, he walked away, leaving the singer against the rocks alone.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

*Author's Note: Thanks again for reading. :) Hope you enjoy where this goes! This chapter may seem a little random, but it explains something about the story of the Gorillaz if you just be patient :D*

"Git up…git up, Dullard. Come on," Murdoc's voice whispered aggressively at him. He slowly opened his eyes and struggled to focus them. He had fallen asleep on the floor beside the bed. He figured he wouldn't be welcome to sleep beside his Satanic lover. He wasn't really sure what he should do. Murdoc's reaction to the situation hadn't been at all what he'd expected.

He'd thought he would scream, and yell, and beat him. However, he'd been rather calm and collected. It really threw him for a loop, to be honest.

"W…wot issit, Mudsie?" he questioned, somewhat able to focus on the bassist's face. He still looked rather calm, though definitely irritated.

"I wanta go. Remember? I don' wanna be here anymore," he whispered, gritting his teeth a bit. He did remember.

"Where we gonna go?" D asked, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. His head was aching already. His blue hair was all tossled and he had dark circles around his eyes. He was exhausted.

"You'll see," Murdoc spat out as he threw an empty duffle bag at the singer, "pack yer shit."

D caught the bag, still in a daze and stood himself up. He was still trying to figure out the situation as Murdoc tossed his own suitcase beside the door. He had already packed his things.

"Is Russ comin'?" the singer pried a little more as he started to grab some clothes out of the dresser he and Murdoc had been sharing over the last few months.

"No," he replied flatly.

D nodded, not sure what he should say. Their family was going to be split up once more and this time it was his fault. He continued to gather up his things, slowly trudging around as he did so. He didn't want to leave. He was happy here. He felt a wave of frustration roll into his chest as he looked Murdoc over. He was wearing his captain's hat, a red bandana tied around his neck along with his Satanic cross, a white long sleeved shirt, jeans and some black boots. He was still a vision, even if the singer was rather pissed at him.

"I don't wanna go," he spat out using a pathetic and whiny tone.

Murdoc stopped dead in his tracks and raised his eyes to meet the singer's. He was clearly infuriated.

"We are going. I don' give a flyin' fuck if ya don't wanna. I can't be here anymore…and if you wanta be wif me, then we're goin'," he growled. He looked incredibly intimidating, and the singer simply swallowed to himself and lowered his head before finishing up his packing. He clearly had no other choice than to go with Murdoc.

"'M ready ta go," he sighed, looking down at the ground.

The bassist remained blank as he grabbed his suitcase, "Awright, le's go then," he whispered. He didn't want to wake Russel. He couldn't deal with having to tell him they were leaving; not after all the hope they'd all shared of getting the band back together. He simply couldn't do it anymore; everything was too fucked up.

D crept quietly behind his lover through the small apartment they'd all shared. It was difficult to think that he would never spend another day there with the three of them together. At this point, he wasn't even sure if they'd all ever be together again. This was, if he was honest with himself, very likely the end of it all. He had to fight back tears as Murdoc held the door open for him and shut it quietly behind him. That was that; it was all over.

"'Ere," Murdoc stated as he carelessly plopped a spare captain's hat on top of 2D's head. The singer, though devastated, felt a little relieved at the small hint of affection it signified. He adjusted the hat atop his mussled blue hair and followed the Satanist. Not a word further was spoken between the two of them as they walked. It was very early in the morning, and it was still dark, so there weren't any people around the coast. They walked this way for about 20 minutes before arriving at a small, rickety dock in a rather isolated portion of the shore. He'd never been around this place before.

He felt a small pit begin to form in his stomach as he drank in the situation. There they were, walking towards this tiny, run down little dock with a rather large looking ship beside it. It wasn't a nice, new ship like a carnival cruise ship either. It was just as run down looking as the dock it was sitting beside. He knew exactly what was going on.

"Are these tha pirates that took ya here?" he asked sheepishly.

Murdoc nodded, indicating that he was correct. The singer swallowed hard as they walked up to the side of the ship. A tall man was standing beside it with a long, rather large red coat. He had on a red pirate's cap with a long, flamboyant feather sticking out the top. He grey beard went down the middle of his chest and he had a nasty looking gash that went diagonally across his left eye. D was nervous as they approached him; he seemed like he wasn't going to be an overly nice gentleman.

"Ah-ha-ha…well if it isn't ol' Murdoc Niccals!" he boomed; his voice was really deep, "an' who be this with ya?" he asked, looking towards the trembling singer before him.

"This is 2D. He's my singer," he explained, setting his suitcase down beside his feet.

The large man nodded before taking in a deep sigh and smiling deviously, "So…I s'ppose ye be wantin' another ride then? I doubt this just be a visit out a tha goodness of yer heart," he chuckled.

The Satanist nodded, "ye. I need a ride," he admitted. He didn't sound intimidated at all though. D really admired that about him; he was always able to hold his ground in rather uncertain situations.

"An' what's innit fer me, then?" The man prodded, casually tending to the side of his ship. There were a few starfish stuck to the side and he was apparently in the middle of removing them when the two of them had arrived. The singer was a little confused; if he was the captain, why didn't he just have his crew do that for him? In fact…where was his crew? He didn't see anyone else around.

"Same deal as last time? We help you keep ship, you take me where I need to be."

The man sighed deeply, his back to the two musicians as he continued to scrape at the starfish. He'd managed to pry one off and it made a popping noise as it fell into the ocean. The singer squinched his face distastefully.

"S'ppose that's fine then," he said, a little exhasperated, "what about some cash?" he asked.

The Satanist looked a little stumped for a second. He didn't have any cash. He hadn't even thought about it.

"Wot…manin' yer ship isn't enough?" Murdoc snarled. He was attempting to get around it without having to admit that he didn't have what the captain was asking for, and D was aware of it. He instinctively wanted to protect Murdoc from whatever bad could come of the situation, so he quickly shoved his hands into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a wad of cash.

"Here…I got some money," he said sheepishly as he held out both of his hands to the large man. He chuckled a bit and took it out of the singer's hands.

"There we go."

Murdoc's eyes revealed a little shock at the fact that D was able to get him out of that situation. That was the first time he could ever remember Stu having been that quick on his feet. He grinned a bit at him and D returned the sentiment.

"Alright, Scallywags…git on board," the captain shouted out.

Murdoc sighed a bit to himself as they walked up a board onto the ship. He hated being bossed around, but this was the only way he could get where he needed to be. There were no planes arriving at this destination…that was for sure.

"Go down the stairs there," Murdoc instructed as he nodded towards a square hole in the middle of the deck. There were some stairs inside.

"K," D replied as he carefully headed down them. There were a bunch of hammocks hanging from the ceiling, however, there still was no crew. Where the heck was everybody?

"Ain't there supposed ta be a crew?" the singer finally asked, dropping his duffle bag beside a hammock in back left corner of the room.

"Ye," Murdoc said as he set his suitcase beside D's bag. He had to admit it was odd.

"Well…wot do we do now?" D questioned, plopping down in his hammock.

"Wait fer our orders," the Satanist answered as he leaned against a pillar beside the hammock. He folded his arms across his chest and leaned his head back. He looked really stressed out. Of course, he had reason to be. Afterall, the reason they were even in this situation was because D had cheated on him. He lowered his head in shame at the thought of it. The reality of the situation hadn't really sunk in for either of them yet.

Suddenly, they heard the captain's footsteps coming down the stairs. They watched expectantly as he walked up to them and breathed in sharply as he put his hands on his hips and puffed out his chest a bit, "Welp," he began before letting out his breath, "here's the deal. Uh…it's just us." He widened his eyes a bit and watched the musicians before for their reactions.

"Wot?" D asked, utterly confused.

Murdoc rolled his eyes before looking at the captain, "where'd they go?"

"Er…well…I dunno. They just…ah…left after we docked. Took all a me gold, too…the rotten scoundrels," he replied, gritting his teeth at the end of his sentence.

Murdoc nodded, putting his left foot up on the pillar he was leaning on, "well…le's git sailin' then," he sighed, looking up frankly at the captain.

The large man nodded in the affirmative before turning his attention to 2D. The singer shuddered a bit at being his center of focus.

"Welcome aboard then fellahs. The name's Captain Bellamy and this here's the Black Mamba," he announced, a sinister tone to his voice.

This was going to be a long journey.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 (ATTEMPT 3)

The bassist listlessly sat in his hammock, slicing up an apple with a small pocket knife he'd been carrying on him lately. He was dressed in a black and red striped, long sleeve shirt, jeans and his brown boots. His black hair was mustled from working out on the deck all day. The singer watched him quietly as he sat in his own hammock just across from him. He admired him; though, lately he had been a little weary of him. They hadn't fucked since they'd been on the ship, and it had been about a week of sailing already. They were sleeping in separate hammocks and they hadn't even really spoken all that much. He knew it was because of what he'd done. He knew that Murdoc was hurting. However, he was also painfully aware that there was nothing he could do to make the situation any better.

He lowered his eyes and looked down into his lap. He was sitting upright in his hammock; his lanky legs were still dangling over the side, unable to touch the ground. He fiddled a bit with his hands, which were safely tucked in his lap. He always did that when he was nervous and Murdoc had noticed.

The bassist sighed deeply before setting his apple and knife down on his stomach. He was laying back very casually, with one leg crossed over the other.

"You okay, D?" he asked, startling the singer a bit.

"Uh…yea…" he responded, completely caught off guard. That was the first time they'd spoken all day, and they'd been doing ship work for hours.

Murdoc nodded, knowing damn well that he wasn't. However, he simply picked up his apple and continued to cut himself small slices, taking them right off of the knife and into his mouth in the process. He chewed quietly, looking up at the ceiling attentively. He wasn't really sure what to say either, though he figured they couldn't continue on like this for much longer. Something needed to be done; but what?

"Why're ya messin' wit yer fingers then?" he finally asked, causing the singer to stop fiddling with them immediately.

"I'm not," he replied, a little defensively.

Murdoc smirked a bit and shook his head, cutting himself another slice. He appeared to be very casual, but he felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest.

"Well, now yer not," he urged, raising his eyebrows a bit and looking directly at the singer.

D felt a little uncomfortable underneath his gaze so he pulled his legs up onto the hammock with him and wrapped his arms around them, resting his head on them.

"I know," he finally admitted, letting out a long sigh.

Murdoc nodded, cutting the last slice of his apple off and eating it. He tossed the core down onto the ground beneath them before folding up his pocket knife and returning it to the front right pocket of his jeans. He also let out a sigh as he put his hands behind his head and shut his eyes. This whole situation was just so awkward.

"Where are we going?" D finally asked.

It had really been bothering him the fact that they'd just up and left like that. Especially without giving a goodbye to Russel. He wondered how Russel must've reacted when he'd woken up and they'd gone? Probably not well. He felt his heart sink a bit at the thought. This was all his fault.

"It's a place I like to call The Plastic Beach," he responded casually, though shifting his gaze over to the singer.

He felt a deep sadness wash over him as he watched the singer nervously lay down in his hammock. He was on his side, facing the bassist, though unable to look at him. He looked rather childish and vulnerable, which also made the bassist feel like shit. He hated this distance that was ever growing between them. He wanted to just snuggle up with him, have a nice shag and move on with it, but he simply couldn't. Every time he thought about what D had done he would get hit with this gigantic wall of emotions, and they were so quick to change. One minute he'd be happy, or sad, or jealous, or angry…the list was endless. Most of the time, though, he had to admit he was angry and he wanted D to feel the sort of pain he was feeling. Of course, the only way to do that would be to fuck someone else, and he certainly had no intention of doing that. To be honest, he didn't have the stomach to do something like that; which bothered him. It bothered him that he didn't have the stomach to do to D what D had done to him. It just didn't make any sense.

"Wot's The Plastic Beach?" D questioned, not knowing anything other than they weren't going back to England, which had been what he'd assumed was going on.

"It's this island me an' the Captain found when we were sailin' over ta Santa Monica. It's made of Plastic an' it's totally isolated," he explained, rolling over onto his side so that he could see his boyfriend a bit better.

D felt his stomach lurch a bit. A Plastic Beach? Isolated? This didn't sound any good to him. Why on Earth would he want to go somewhere like that? He wanted to protest but, in light of the situation, he decided to bite his tongue. Murdoc hadn't forced him to be with him; he'd made the decision to follow him to this destination, so he couldn't rightly complain about it.

"I'm really sorry," D said softly, lifting his eyes to meet the Satanist's. He'd been watching him, which was a little unnerving.

They gazed at each other for a moment. D was growing very uncomfortable under his stare, completely unable to make any sense of his expression. His face was completely emotionless, and it frightened him. Finally, however, he did speak.

"I know."

D nodded before slowly lowering his gaze back down to his hands. He was fiddling with them again. The bassist sighed deeply before sitting up, causing the singer to look at him once more.

"Wouldja like ta sleep wif me tonight?" he asked, a hint of guilt in his voice.

The singer felt his heart skip a beat. Did he really just invite him to sleep with him?

"Yes, please," he said stupidly, sitting himself up as well.

Murdoc nodded, "okay…well…bring yer blanket," he instructed.

The singer quickly gathered up his blanket before timidly walking over to the bassist's hammock, stopping in front of him. Murdoc looked at him, a softness to his expression as he raised his hand up to D's chest, lightly pulling at his shirt. The singer allowed him to pull him in, their faces stopping just an inch or so away from one another's. They breathed shallow and nervously before Murdoc gently pressed his lips to his.

D parted his lips sheepishly, though somewhat caught up in the moment, pushing his tongue into his mouth cautiously.

"It's okay…" Murdoc whispered, his hand on the singer's cheek.

D felt a bit of relief, though still had a pit in his stomach. It was almost like this was their first time for some reason. It had been so long and there was just so much wrong between them he felt as though he shouldn't even be allowed to touch him. Still, Murdoc laid down and rested his hand on the small of D's back, softly pulling him on top of him.

The singer laid down on him, though holding his weight up with his hands. He didn't want his entire body to touch his; he didn't deserve it. They were both breathing very shallow; very quiet. The entire situation was incredibly delicate, and they were treating it as such.

D kissed him, his soft lips seemingly asking permission with each taste. The bassist was also very hesitant, not even entirely certain that he was ready for this to happen. It just broke his heart to see D so unsure, and it did hurt him to feel the enormous distance they had between them now. He wanted it to be gone. He wanted the hurt and the uncertainty to go away. He wanted things to be the way they were.

The bassist slowly pushed his hand down the front of the singer's pants, gently rubbing. D could feel his heart beating not so much quickly, but definitely with a great deal of force. He could feel his face get hot at the touch of his lover's hand. It felt so incredibly good to be touched.

In the heat of the moment, he sat himself up and unbuttoned his pants, pushing them off quietly. Murdoc did the same. The singer laid himself back on top of the bassist, this time allowing his body to completely rest upon his. It felt so good to be so close.

Murdoc felt his heart start to race a bit as the singer started to kiss him once more, this time with a bit more confidence and far more seductively. He could tell that he was excited, though realized that he himself was simply spinning. He was feeling intensely sad as the singer pushed his hips into his. It was difficult as he felt his lover's aroused body pressing needy against him. He could tell he was excited and it hurt for him to take notice of the fact that he just couldn't feel that way.

His stomach was aching sharply as D put his hand between his legs, stroking familiarly. It felt good physically; however, mentally his head was about to explode. He felt sick to his stomach as he thought about how Lily knew what this was like. She'd most certainly been beneath him like this. She'd definitely been kissed by him just as tenderly as this. He knew that they'd made love the way that he and D were about to.

The singer started to rub with a bit more conviction, kissing a little harsher at the bassist's mouth. His heart was starting to pound and his face was burning hot as he pushed his hips into Murdoc's tantalizingly. He started to breath heavily and he let out soft moan before burying his face into Murdoc's neck and kissing it passionately.

Murdoc felt his heart pounding as well, though it wasn't because he was excited. He felt like he was going to throw up; he felt like his heart was stuck in his throat. He couldn't breathe.

"Stop…stop…" he finally spat out, pushing the singer up a bit. D held himself up with his arms, looking confusedly at his lover. What was going on? Everything seemed to be going so well…?

"I…I can't do this," Murdoc explained, his voice wavering as he choked back tears. D opened his mouth to say something, but before he could Murdoc pushed him aside, though it wasn't forcefully. D sat and watched as the bassist pulled his pants back on hurriedly. Nothing more was said between the two of them as the bassist quickly went up the stairs. He hadn't even looked back.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Time was so slow on that god-forsaken ship. It was agonizing for the fragile singer to have to work so hard all day only to sleep completely alone at night. There had a been a few times where he'd snuck into bed with Murdoc while he was already asleep, but he'd always taken great care to stay awake and get back into his own before the Satanist would wake. He didn't want to force anything he wasn't ready for. Still, the small bit of closeness was the only thing getting him by these days. He knew that he'd fucked up, but they'd been sailing for nearly a month now and he wasn't sure how much longer he could take the cold shoulder. Everyone fucks up and he was pretty certain everyone deserves a second chance…so why wasn't Mudsie just letting him have it?

He let out a deep sigh. The tired zombie angel was down on his knees scrubbing the deck. He was wearing a red shirt with the sleeves cut off due to the fact that it was blistering hot. He'd also had on a pair of jeans that he'd cut off just below the knees. There was no air conditioning on the ship, that was for sure. He had to just deal with it. He did, despite the heat, still have on the captain's hat that Murdoc had given him the day they'd left. It was comforting to have that gift adorned.

Murdoc, who was also scrubbing the deck on the other end of the ship, noticed the singer's fatigue. He'd been getting pretty worn down by the work and he'd figured emotionally. He knew that he hadn't been making the right strides to try and get past the situation. He knew that every time he looked at the singer he would feel sick to his stomach and he wouldn't make any effort to hide it or push it down. It was wrong; but it was so hard to just let it go. How in the Hell do people forgive each other? Murdoc hadn't had very many occasions in his life where he'd given enough of a shit about someone to actually forgive them for causing him pain. Generally, he would either beat the shit out of them and run away, or just plain run away from the situation. He'd never dealt with anything like this, and it really made him realize just how weak he could actually be; another thing that bothered him.

He bit his lip slightly as he eyed 2D, stopping his scrubbing. Of course, the dullard hadn't even noticed the attention he was currently paying him, which was fine. He didn't want him to notice. He simply wanted to observe. He did feel a pang of guilt as he looked him over. He had so many scars on his arms and his face was so pale. His eyes were barely open as he slowly scrubbed, looking as though he were using every last ounce of his being to do it. He had to do something. They hadn't even really spoken all that much this entire trip; especially not after their failed attempt at intimacy.

The bassist lowered his head in shame before grabbing a dry wash rag that he was going to use to rub down the deck. He stood up and walked over to an area where the Captain kept drinking water for the two of them. Being a modern pirate, of course, Bellamy kept water bottles on board, which sort of made the bassist laugh for a moment. He shook his head as he poured a bit of the water onto the wash cloth, soaking it in his hands. He wrung it out just a hair to keep it from dripping all over the place before assertively walking over to D and gently resting it on the singer's back. 2D had tensed up for a moment at the sudden affection, not sure what he should do. He did relax however as the bassist slowly started to rub the washcloth over his shoulders and neck, causing him to let out a sigh of relief.

He bowed his head, setting his own washcloth down and allowed the Satanist to rub him down a bit. It was very arousing, which frustrated the both of them a bit as they knew sex wasn't an option between them, but they went ahead with it anyway.

Murdoc could definitely feel himself getting turned on, which was a bit of a surprise to him. It was the first time he'd actually felt like he desired him since it had all happened. The last time they'd tried he just felt guilty. He felt his heart pounding in his chest as he slid the wash cloth, and his hand, under the sleeve of D's shirt, pushing it just over his shoulder. The singer pushed his shoulder up a bit and pulled it inward, making him look very vulnerable. This turned the bassist on even more. He loved when he looked so…well…fuckable, really. He knew that when D behaved like this he would get to take the lead; D would simply let him ravage him, which was exactly what he wanted to do at the moment.

However, there was work to be done. The bassist only rubbed, teasingly of course, for a few more moments before plopping down beside his lover. D relaxed his shoulders and allowed himself to sit back on his bum, looking in Murdoc's eyes. It was the first real connection the two of them had felt in a while and it was slightly like a moment of shared after glow once it was finished. The tension had been relieved ever so slightly.

"Tanks, Mudsie," D offered, grinning that toothy grin of his at the bassist.

Murdoc nodded his head, pulling out a cigarette from his back pocket and lighting it. He took a long drag off of it and exhaled, closing his eyes and leaning his head back.

"Ye want one?" he asked, ignoring the thank you. D knew that was only in his nature though; it definitely wasn't intentional indifference.

"Yes, please," he said, almost a little too eagerly.

They didn't get to smoke all that often on the ship, seeing as they weren't able to stop off at a gas station or anything to get some more. Although, Murdoc had packed a pretty sizeable stash of them anyway.

"'ere," the Satanist said softly as he handed the singer a ciggie, who took it very graciously from him.

Murdoc couldn't help but grin, which 2D had happened to miss as he was busy lighting his cigarette. He was always so gentle, which amused Murdoc to no end. The kid wasn't exactly feminine, but he certainly wasn't very masculine either. He was simply…naïve and childish. It was the bassist's favorite characteristic about him.

He watched silently as D sucked down his cigarette. He was gazing off into the distance, looking totally enthralled at whatever the hell he was looking at. It really was nice to have some interaction with him; it almost seemed to help make things a little clearer for him. He hadn't forgiven him yet, but, just for a fleeting moment, he felt like there was the possibility that he could. He knew in his heart that he was deeply in love with him. There were just too many little charming and alluring things about the singer for him to just stay angry forever and walk away from what they had. He had made a mistake. It didn't affect how the singer felt about him; he was more than aware of that. Still…that was a big factor in what made things so difficult. How could he cheat if he was completely content and happy with Murdoc? Simple. He's human. He fucked up. Just because someone's in love and satisfied doesn't mean that things can't get complicated and fucked up. Plus, he had always heard that cheating had nothing to do with the partner in most cases. Generally, it was the cheaters need to fill some void in themselves, though Murdoc wasn't quite sure what that was.

The Satanist let out a deep sigh. His thoughts were so twisted. He took another drag of his cigarette as he convinced himself that he should simply bask in the brief moment of happiness and togetherness he was experiencing with D rather than muddying it up with continued thought.

"I love you, Mudsie," D said softly, interrupting the bassist's decidedly irrelevant thoughts.

He looked up and him and smiled very genuinely at the singer.

"I love you, too."

D smiled back at him, thrilled to hear those words coming out of his mouth. Lately he hadn't been sure if he would ever hear it again. In the pleasure of the moment, he leaned forward and planted a light kiss on the bassist's mouth before quickly leaning back and smirking uncertainly at him.

Murdoc grinned back at him before grabbing the back of his neck and kissing him once more, very affectionately.

"Hey!" a voice suddenly boomed from up above them, startling the two of them and causing them to separate.

"Fuck…hey…sorry…" Murdoc stammered as he realized that the Captain was leaning out the door to his cabin.

"Get back ta work!" he shouted, though not sounding overly angry, which settled the both of them down.

"Ye, ye, ye…" Murdoc grumbled, waving his hand carelessly toward the Captain. D smirked a bit as he watched the Satanist pick up his wash rag and resume his scrubbing.

"Hey," the Captain shouted again, a rather jovial tone to his voice.

"Wot!" Murdoc shouted back, irritation heavily present in his voice.

"Look ahead, Mate," he urged, smiling at his 'crew'.

Murdoc stood up, still rather frustrated looking, before walking up towards the front of the ship. 2D watched quietly, waiting to see his lover's reaction. The Satanist stood silently for a moment before slightly smiling and nodding his head briefly.

"Wot's goin' on?" D asked, bummed out that he hadn't gotten up to see what it was.

"We're here," Murdoc responded, turning around to smile at his lover.

"We're where?" D asked.

The Satanist rolled his eyes, though no longer genuinely irritated, "The Plastic Beach…tha place I told ye about!" he was somewhat laughing, which was odd for him. Of course, they had been at sea for months. The thought of land was pretty damn exciting.

D stood up quickly, smiling as wide as he could possibly manage before running up to Murdoc so he could see. He could hardly contain himself as he laid eyes on the, literally, Plastic Beach. He was shaking a bit and biting his lip, struggling to manage his eagerness to be off of the dreaded pirate ship.

"We're finally here, Mudsie…we did it!" He beamed, causing the Satanist to look at him softly, once again realizing that yeah…they were there, but it didn't make a difference really. He still felt the same helpless, spiraling pain of the infidelity.

"Wot's tha matter Muds…ain't ya happy?" The singer asked, noting the distress on his lover's face.

"Ye…everyfin's fine," he lied as he grabbed the singer's hand reassuringly. He felt terrible but at least now he had the decency to pretend like he was okay. It was all he could do to push forward at this point.


	14. Chapter 14

Things Don't Always Turn Out That Way

Chapter 14

By: StalkerDex

(Author's Note: Well! I completely forgot about this story and I needed a break from the one I'm working on. I think it's about time we finished this one up :P Not sure if I still have any readers, but this will be the final chapter! There is a supernatural element to this, which I ask you to have an open mind about. The Gorillaz have always had a bit of a supernatural quality to them anyway, and with Murdoc's relationship with Satan, I don't think this is too far-fetched.)

"How're ya gonna git back to England?" D asked, feeling a small amount of concern for their captain. After all, he had no crew now that he'd docked at the Plastic Beach.

He noticed Murdoc's eye twinge for just a second, which was odd. However, he decided to pay it no mind. They'd been at sea for months and they were certainly malnourished to say the least. He was probably just in need of a proper meal.

"Well…I dunno," Bellamy admitted, panic flashing briefly upon his tattered face. Maybe he hadn't really thought that far ahead…

"It doesn't really matter," Murdoc stated flatly, catching his company off guard.

D felt his heart racing in his chest as Captain Bellamy eyed Murdoc, who looked very unphased and certainly unenthused.

"Mudsie…" D said softly, his voice wavering.

"Shut up D," he spat out, not bothering to look towards him.

2D buttoned up, his hollow eyes wide with concern. Murdoc was about to do something crazy, and he was certain he'd had it planned all along.

"Oh…" he spat out, frightened as he hopped backwards in response to Captain Bellamy abruptly pulling a rather large knife from his belt.

"Ye try anythin' and I'll gut you like a goddamn fish, Murdoc Niccals!" he warned, stepping backwards. It was apparent he was in danger and he was edging himself towards the ship, knife staring threateningly at his impending attacker.

Murdoc simply smirked at him.

"Oi," he sighed before rolling his eyes and reaching into his pocket, "they always struggle, don't they, D?" he continued, looking at his lover for a brief second.

2D swallowed hard, fear gripping him. Murdoc was fucking insane. Had he done this to him? He just didn't look right…

"Watch out boy, I'm warning' ya…" the Captain continued, taking another cautious step backward, "…ye've been at sea fer far too long…yer not thinking' clearly…"

"That's wot I'm counting on…" he said suddenly. D felt his heart start to race as he looked towards him, flatly giving him instructions, "go inside, D. It's not gonna be safe out 'ere fer you."

D nodded, feeling as though his head were spinning as he abruptly turned his lanky body and ran as fast as he could towards the giant plastic building before them.

"Goddamnit, Murdoc…I'm serious!" Bellamy somewhat threatened, somewhat pleaded as he stepped back once more, his back meeting with the rotten wood of his ship.

"So am I," he insisted as he suddenly reached into a small sack he had tied to his belt, throwing a fistful of glittery dust all over the captain, who screamed in response.

Murdoc watched as the captain fell to his knees, screeching in agony. It was burning the skin right off of his face, catching his clothing on fire. Green smoke fled his body, profusely thickening the air around them.

"It hurts, doesn't it!" Murdoc shouted, temporary insanity rising within him. He appeared to be cracking, though, he wasn't. He had this planned from the beginning. As soon as he'd known D had cheated his mind had wandered to the Plastic Beach. He knew he needed a ride. He also knew he was going to need security, and good ol' Bellamy would do just fine.

The Captain continued to scream as Murdoc approached him, speaking tauntingly.

"Wash the deck, scrub my feet, make my food, starve yourselves…how does it feel to bleed from yer insides, Bellamy!?"

"FUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!" Bellamy hollered as he struggled to move.

Murdoc laughed, his eye twanging once more as he grabbed the Captain's collar, unaffected by the devilish powder, yanking him forward and aggressively dragging him towards the water.

"You've taken advantage of yer last drifter, Bellamy!" Murdoc continued before pulling some more powder out and sprinkling it atop the captain, this time moving his arms around in the air commandingly.

The Captain watched in horror through smoldering flesh as he was lifted from the ground, glitter swirling around him. His mind was a blur as he watched the Plastic Beach grow further from him, only the ocean beneath him. He was going to drop him!

"MURDOCCCCCC!" he pleaded.

For a moment, all either of them could hear were their heartbeats, and then it was done. He had been dropped into the water.

The Satanist felt a calm wash over him as he numbly watched the transformation take place. First it was his legs. It must've hurt as he listened to the Captain's pained cries, taking on an echoey oceanic quality. He gazed on as Bellamy's skin became blue and leathery, his eyes becoming black, beady fish eyes, the sound of crushing and warped bones surrounding him. It was working…Captain Bellamy would soon be 2D's worst fear: a venomous, revenge starved whale who's only task in life was to keep him put.

A quiet settled over the beach as Bellamy's now enormous whale head poked out of the top of the water, staring at Murdoc. He wasn't sure what the Captain must've felt like now, if he even felt at all.

"Now," Murdoc insisted as he waded out into the water, up to his thighs, "if you eva want a shot at becoming human again, you listen to me…got it?" he continued as he shook the little bag of powder before him, indicating he must never hurt him as he was the only one who could fix him. Murdoc was certain he'd seen resentment cross that old whale's face.

He smirked before moving along, "You're job is simple. 2D's room is goin' ta be in the basement. He c'n see you there. All I want ya ta do is watch him. Keep him scared out of his wits of you…" he watched cautiously as he spoke, more conviction creeping into his words, "…but if you eva hurt him, Bellamy, I swear to the goddamned Devil himself, I will murder you with my bare fuckin' hands…you understand me?"

A thoughtful look crossed the Satanist's face before he went on, mostly speaking to himself at this point, "I don't want anyfin' bad happenin' to 'im. I jus' want ta know he's not goin' anywhere…he's mine…just mine…"

At this point, he'd become completely oblivious of the Captain, lost in his own thoughts as he slowly trudged away. Bellamy submerged himself, having no other option than to obey his new master. Perhaps he'd dug his own grave.

…

It was dark beneath the pier. The ghostly drummer couldn't be sure what was happening to him, but he was growing larger and larger with each and every day since Murdoc and 2D's disappearance. Perhaps it was the stress? Coping with a loss could do any number of strange things to the body. Christ, he couldn't even fit in his apartment anymore. He had been living beneath the pier for quite some time, becoming a bit of a tourist attraction. It sickened him.

He grit his teeth angrily before pounding his fists onto the ground, causing the pier to rumble. He couldn't quite explain it but, in that moment, it felt like the right thing to do. He was going to find that mother fucker and kill him…if it was the last thing he did.

"Murdoc Niccals…I'm comin' for you…" he growled as he stood himself up, the giant pier above him resting on his back and being lifted with him. He heard people screaming, but he no longer cared. He knew he could do it and, somehow, he knew where he needed to go.

The Earth rumbled beneath his feet as he walked out into the ocean…he would swim there. He would swim there and when he arrived he would kill Murdoc for doing this to him; he would kill him for doing this to everyone. It was the only way they could put an end to the misery that was The Gorillaz.

…

For a brief moment, Murdoc considered the morality of the situation. However, better heads prevailed as he decided to shove it down, entering his new home, not surprised in the least to see a terrified D curled up on the floor, shaking profusely.

"Git up," he sighed, almost exasperated.

2D felt nervous, though he obeyed. He'd always known Murdoc was capable of violence and cruelty, but it had been _so _very long since he'd witnessed something like this from him. He was losing it; he was turning into the evil son-of-a-bitch he'd been before their love.

"I know wot yer thinkin'," Murdoc insisted.

D swallowed hard. He most certainly did.

"Look…it jus' has ta be this way…can ya understand, D?"

D nodded, not wanting to upset him. He felt more like a captive than a lover at this point. Was this why he'd brought him all the way out here? To isolate him? That way he didn't even have the option to cheat on him? Was he really _that _fucked up over it?

…

"Madam! The ship is under attack from pirates I've been sent here to escort you to the life boats!"

She lifted herself from the couch, accessing a briefcase she'd stowed in her room with her.

"Madam?" he pried as she opened it up, oblivious to him.

She grit her teeth as she reached for her gun, causing the man to gasp.

"Um, I…oh dear…" he spoke pathetically as she forced her way past him, determination upon her masked face as she made her way down the darkened hall of the ship, alarms screaming around them. She knew who'd sent these pirates. She knew who'd tried to kill her in the first place.

Murdoc Niccals had ruined her life, and, when the time was right, she was going to blow his goddamned head off…

…

D raised his eyes, looking upon his lover's face. Murdoc was staring off in the distance, a sinister quality the singer hadn't witnessed before consuming him. Something was happening; something big was stirring in their universe.

The singer's heart began to pound as he swallowed hard, a vivid slice of light flickering across Murdoc's eye, replacing the darkened, normal state it had maintained for quite some time with that familiar, reddish glow it had once considered a permanent resident.

"Murdoc…" he whispered, mesmerized, "…it's happening…"

The Satanist smirked at him wickedly, his green teeth seeming aggressive as he spoke gently, "go to yer room, D…it isn't safe out here…"


End file.
